Something Out There

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Something Out There


Chapter 12

Anna released the hold she had on her knees; she could feel her body uncoil as every muscle fiber relaxed. She pushed the hair out of her eyes as she slowly looked around the room. Something felt different, she noticed the air was warm and her room was somehow brighter. She felt a serene peace surround her, and for the first time in so long, she felt no pain inside or out. Anna stretched both of her arms out and looked at them, where were the scars and the fresh cuts she had just inflicted? Her arms were bare and her skin soft. She slowly traced a finger along her skin. Her mind trying to grasp what had just happened.

Christian was still on his knees, one hand gently placed on Anna’s leg. His body was trembling as he knelt, still speaking softly. The ball of light circled him; it was now moving slow and no longer bouncing around the room. Its focus was on Christian. It was as if this light knew him personally and was communicating with him.

The angels stood transfixed, Seth had a smile on his face. “Now do you understand why I have over protected him?”

“Seth, you should not have kept this a secret from us.” Aronn said in a quiet voice. He stretched his body to its full length and opened his wings; he could feel the light penetrate to his inner core. It felt wonderful. He looked at Christian with awe.

“How does a ten year old boy receive such a gift? A gift that even for Angels is rare.” Samuel said. “I knew he had a close relationship with the Father, but I have never seen a human attain this strong of a bond with the Holy Spirit.”

Bri never moved, her arms were still holding Anna. It was as if she knew once she let go, the world would claim her once again. Bri’s wings were emitting a soft pink glow; she could feel the warmth move through her whole being. It had connected her to Anna, and although Anna could see neither Angels nor the light, Bri could see the connection from her to Anna. It enfolded them like a blanket. It felt good to be her Guardian, to comfort her, even for a short time.

Seth looked at Ernes with worry in his eyes. “Ernes, can you keep this a secret? At least for a little while, can you withhold this information from your superiors?”

“Seth, this is big, they need to know.”

Seth leaned against the wall; he turned to look at Christian. “He is only ten, Ernes; he needs time to understand the power he holds. Or it will do neither of us any good.”

“Ernes, Seth is right.” Samuel said. “To over come what ever the Strongman has planned, we will need Christian. If he doesn’t understand it completely, we may lose this town.”

Ernes turned to look out the window; he had never with held vital information before. He would definitely lose his rank as Captain. He moved through the wall and was now standing outside. The Warrior angels parted as he walked past them. He stood still and quiet, contemplating what was best.

He turned to face the battalion that was protecting the home. “Did any of you witness the light?”

One large Angel stepped forward; he lowered his sword to his side. “It was kind of hard not to.” He had a twinkle in his eye has he spoke. “There is only One that can scatter a thousand demons all at once.”

“Are you willing to keep silent, until the time is right?” Ernes questioned.

One by one the War angels looked at each other. “Yes, we will do everything in our power to keep this child safe and his secret hidden.”

Ernes let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome Captain.” The largest one said. “Oh, one more thing; can you tell Bri that the black scrawny demon, Pain, fled with the rest? He will not be allowed back into this home as long as we are here.”

Ernes nodded and reentered the bedroom. “We have work to do, the children are safe here. Samuel and Aronn you come with me, we have a church to visit, and we need to locate the Strongman’s host. He will definitely be using a human to do his work.”

“Seth, you and Bri stay with your charges, and Bri you will no longer compete with the demon Pain. Anna is all yours.”
Last edited by Kim on Sat Dec 15, 2007 6:49 am, edited 1 time in total.




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Kim! I was so happy that I found out that you had written more and posted it! Oh, man, this chapter was FANTASTIC! I often wonder how you can write such a gripping story.

Anyhow:

“Oh, one more thing, can you tell Bri that the black scrawny demon Pain fled with the rest."

This sentence should read, "Oh, one more thing; can you tell Bri that the scrawny demon, Pain, fled with the rest?"

That was the only sentence that really needed work on. Great job! You left us hanging and wanting more. I can't believe how well you are luring us in to this story. It's great. I love reading it!

Well, there is nothing more to talk about but how much I love this story. I am so glad that you have written it. Each chapter keeps getting better and better.

BBB
Just write -- the rest of life will follow.

Would love help on this.




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Thank you so much Bear. i have made the changes you found. i appreciate your comments.

kim




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Another great chapter. You are slowly giving away the secret. I like that, it keeps the mystery going. I really like this book.


Carl




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I've noticed you have a little difficulty in making your speech sound natural - it seems a little forced, too scripted. What you need to do is go through and think about how you would say something - for example, when speaking, people tend to run words together, saying I'll instead of I will etc. If you just go through thinking about that sort of thing you'll understand what I mean - and then it will be easy to fix it.
Apart from that - wow! I love the way you slowly reveal just a little bit more in every chapter and yet still manage to keep us guessing - it makes the story so much more intresting and helps to build suspense. (I'm warning you now though - unless you have an absolutely fantastic ending, it will leave your reader feeling just a little bit disappointed - not that I doubt your abilities.)
Keep writing - please!
Bkwrm



I'm effortlessly ironic.
— Link Neal