Prophecy of Elwen Prolouge

Prophecy of Elwen

Prologue

Sota walked through the front door. His mother sat on the couch reading a book. He sat his backpack on the chair next to the door. He walked into the hall and turned into the living room smiling.

“Hey mom” he said sitting down next to her.

“Hey honey how was school”

“Terrible but it’s better now” He smiled at her again. She smiled back at him but then suddenly changed her expression.

“Hey mom, are you ok” His voice was shaky

“Sota, go hide in the basement”

“What, why”

“Just do it!” She screamed. Sota had a very shocked looked on his face.
“GO!” Sota ran out into the hall and toward the basement door. A fireball shot toward the door and blew the door off. Sota’s mom came running up next to him.

“Get down there!” She yelled again. Sota ran down the stairs and into the basement. Sota looked up the staircase and watched as flames flew through the air. His mom suddenly came running down the stairs. She grabbed him and leaped onto the ground. An explosion erupted and the whole house blew into flames. His mom stood up and faced the stairs. Fire was all around them and Sota could feel the heat from it. His vision was blurring and he felt unstable. He saw three figures. His mom, a man in black clothes, and a woman in red robes. As his vision turned black he was a vague image of a lightning bolt hit his mother in the stomach. His eyes closed and he drifted into a white room. A woman rapped in a white cloak stood before him with a red orb.

“Take this and save the world” The women lifted the orb in the air. Sota’s looked astonished as the orb lifted toward him. The orb moved till it was right in front Sota’s heart. It slowly moved toward its destination and into Sota’s heart. The orb’s light was amazing as it entered his body. Sota made no sounds only closed his eye and let it overtake him. When it had ended Sota found himself in the white room again.

“We will meet again,” the lady in the white cloak said as Sota drifted to sleep.

This is a really good piece of writing There's just a couple of things that I picked out:

1. Some of the senteces are missing punctuations, it might seem a small thing, but it becomes very a very awkard read.

2. When the woman tells him to "Save the world" you might want to rephrase it as it does sound a bit tacky or corny.

Otherwise, really good job, I look forward to reading the rest

This is only for my post just for YWS



Sota Techi

Age: 15

Hair Color: Blonde

Eye Color: Blue

Personality: A soft hearted kid that is very smart, and handsome

Bio- His mother was killed in a mysterious fire. He saw how his mother died but no one would believe him. His dad is a drunk who abuses Sota.
Later on Sota realizes his mother was a part of the Council of Elwen
A secret Council that was created to destroy Valfa the evil ruler of the land of Paria (pair-e-a)

His mother was the leader and in charge of destroying him.

Ability: Telekinesis-Ability to control things like levitation, mind reading, and some illusions

Carries a black sword with a serpent on it

Orb: Orb of Levity-White





Measo Aketchi

Age: 15

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Grey

Personality: Tough and looks it. He is really a soft person on the inside, but no one has ever been able to see it.

No weapon

Ability: Fire-can control fire-generate heat-and many other uses

Orb: Orb of Danger-White

Bio: his parents are both members of the Council of Elwen of the last 10 members there 2 of the 4 left.

He participates in things with his parents and the Elwen Council. He knows much more then Sota does but refuses to tell him






Mira Son’zi

Age: 16

Hair Color: Blonde

Eye Color: Red

Race: Quintini-This race is the same as human but possess increasingly powerful physical strength and agility. They all have red eyes and a strange marking on their right hand of a dragon head.

Personality: Sweet but tough girl because of her race. She’s soft hearted and put others before herself ALWAYS

She’s strong and confident

Accessories: Bow and arrow are her weapons which she can fire without missing.

Ability-Illusions-she can control the 5 sense to make her opponent think there being attacked when there not…make them feel pain-see things that aren’t real-taste things-hear things-feel things…..

Orb: Orb of Desperation-Yellow

Bio: Father was killed by Valfa in the Arcanum War. Her mother serves in the Elwen Council and she and her brother participates in activities like Measo.





Nexum Son’zi

Age: 18

Hair Color: Blonde

Eye Color: Red

Personality: Tough and looks it

Same as the girl above in race and markings including the eyes.
He’s tough and is nothing less

He protects his sister and all who would harm her
Very muscular and has a strong determined personality

Bio: He participated in the war with his mother. He blames himself for not protecting his mother
And regrets leaving her side in battle

Orb: Orb of Sensitivity-Brown

Ability: Lighting-Can control lighting even without a storm-lighting can emit from his hands along with many other things.






Andirio Shuzik

Age: 27

Hair Color: Red

Eye Color: Yellow

Wears a Scarlet Robe and wields a staff.

Race: Scarof-A dark race of power. Usually always tall and beautiful there speed makes up for their lack of power.

Ability: Blood Magic: She controls blood and the flow of it

Orb: Orb of Divinity- Grey

Bio: Queen of Mikiro-She fights for her people and his Queen to Valfa. She killed Sota’s mother and wishes to kill the rest of the Council of Elwen

DONE! YES AND IT ONLY TOOK 3 HOURS!