Don't attack us

*PLZ CRITIC, TNX*
Hello,
I'm niki, you can call me another teenage girl, and you can say I think about what any other teenage thinks about. But I’m different, so are about 80 percent of kids my age in my country. We can’t worry about every day life because any moment things might change. At the moment I’m writing this I’m not sure how the next second will turn out. My difference is I live in Iran, what you call a third world country. I live in a country which might be attacked any moment by dear “Uncle Sam”. And all I hope for is peace in my country and to be able to live for just another minute. To be able to tell the world that by attacking my country they’re not saving great lives, they are killing a lot of great lives. They are killing any hope for a lot of kids and grown ups.
I Can runaway because I’m a Canadian as well but what about my friends? What about the guy who if you play a song for him once he can play it for you on a piano, a guitar and show the beat on drums and will have to give up his dreams? What about the girl who stands up for her beliefs and raps along side with guys although she knows she might have to go to jail and in case of a war she is a sure goner? What about the girl in the small village who is studying ten hours a day so she can have a future other than being a house wife and she the best future for her in case of an attack is getting married to a guy forty years older than her?
I live in third world country I love. I live in good house, I go to a great school and I have access to internet and so much more. I’m just your everyday teenager but the difference is the teens in your country don’t have to worry about death as much. Please help me and pray for peace in my country every night that’s all I ask.

Sincerely a Persian teen

*sob**bawl*

I hate wars, I really do. They are just a wast of lives, and all for what? Nothing. What greatness has ever been born of War?

Anyways, it's cool to know more about you though.

The part about the girl who raps and the guys playing songs is really moving. I really liked that part.
But I don't know if you want this critiqued or not. It is in Non-Fiction, so...
I would suggest adding more imagery. What scenes do you see ever day that remind you of War? It would make this more powerful..

Keep writing,
Ayra

Wow, that was really good.

Even though I tend to be a bit of a pugilist, I have to agree: War is awful, even for good causes- for the freeing of the oppressed. A war for oil, so-called "protecting America's interests" is a load of bull.

It must be hard to live in Persia right now, near the center of such political controversy. Having a lunatic for a president and a propaganda-spewing media (don't we in the U.S. understand) can't make things any better.

I agree with Arya that you could use some more imagery to give us your perspective on the current situation. What does the approaching storm look like to you? It's compelling to hear what you have to say about others, but we'd like to know more about what your situation is.

Even though it will probably be to a different God, I'll be praying for you and your country; for peace.

Just for future reference: When you're posting on this site, double space (Put a blank line between) your paragraphs; it's easier on the eyes.

*PLZ CRITIC, TNX*

Things like this are unnecessary; it should be assumed that someone will critique it, as that is the point of this website. Also, the chatspeak and the all-caps (in addition to this line in itself) will certainly turn many people off to reading what you have posted, making a paradox of the original purpose anyway.

I live in third world country I love. I live in good house, I go to a great school and I have access to internet and so much more.

I wonder if English isn't your first language? I'm not trying to be rude, just asking. For example, above, the first sentence should be "I live in a third world countrythat I love" You might want to go through and correct grammatical mistakes such as this one, including the capitalization of your own name in the first sentence. If you need help with this, feel free to PM me and I'd be glad to help ^_^ If you just didn't proofread, please look this over again.

I live in a country which might be attacked any moment by dear “Uncle Sam”.

This sounds vague and almost like a rant. This could be helped by being supported maybe by including something about an incidence where there was an attack. Because many people are unlikely to know what that feels like so to just make a blanket statement won't mean very much.

Like suggested above, you should space out your paragraphs (these critiques are examples of having a space betweens segments). Otherwise, since it's online, it becomes easy for one's eye to get lost.

I like how, even though the subject identified herself as Niki in the first sentence, it ends as just another Persian girl. Nice.

That was realy deep. I hate wars, the only thing they're good for is showing us how boring our lives are.

In the way of a crit, the writing is a little off, like Amelia pointed out. Please double space your writing as well, it makes reading it a lot easier.

Thanks for sharing.