Mrs. Rosa Brown, a 75 year-old lady who lived in the North all her life, came down to 1957 Biloxi, Mississippi to see her new born great grandson. She was slightly unaware of the rules of the royal South. Mrs. Brown became hungry while driving and decided to stop at a diner in the out skirts of Biloxi. She got out of the blue Thunderbird with a purple church dress and matching shoes and hat. Mrs. Brown stepped into the diner and sat at the bar waiting on the waitress. A big white man came from behind the cash register and stood in front of Mrs. Brown." I would like the blueberry waffle with 2 strips of bacon, and a cup of coffee please", asked Mrs. Brown to the white man standing in front of her. " We don't serve Niggers", said the white man in a harsh tone. " I don't eat'em either", explained Mrs. Brown.
Last edited by blacktiger3915 on Fri Nov 30, 2007 5:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
This seems kind of like a joke or something, not a real piece of fiction--even flash fiction. You need to elaborate more... it just seemd like you're giving the absolute minimum in order to get your story across, and as a writer you should give much much more.
This could make a beautiful short story/flash fic if you worked on it a little.
PM me if you have questions/comments or need a review!
I agree with Azila. This piece was quite short and more like a joke than a story. If you want this to be a story, elaborate so more. Do something constructive to it. But it it's not and is just to supposed be a joke, then just post it in Other.
I really don't like how you mentioned nigger in this story. It was a bit...out of place. I was shocked when I read it (though I did get the joke.)
Voldemort: You kids! If I ever find out who's calling I will tell the wizard law and you will go to wizard jail and then I'll kill you!
I liked it, but I agree with everyone else...it wasn't exactly fiction. It sounds kind of like one of those forwards you email to all your friends lol. But it was funny; it made me laugh.
"new born" is one word though.
“We’re still here,” he says, his voice cold, his hands shaking. “We know how to be invisible, how to play dead. But at the end of the day, we are still here.” ~Dax
Teacher: "What do we do with adjectives in Spanish?"
S: "We eat them!"
They still call blacks "niggers" in today's world. It's pathetic.
And yes, it does feel like more of a joke than a real story. It is short, but it gives you a sense of how inconsiderate and racist people can be, and how the victims can just hit out with these hilarious comments, which would leave these pathetic people stunned.
well there's no joke forum so you might as well post it here, right? i give this joke 7/10. yeah it was pretty easy to get, but i bet none of you guys noticed her name was mrs. BROWN!
Yeah Emma, we do keep calling ourselves "niggas" to each other, which it's sad. My school and neighborhood is all black (including me) and we use that word religously.
And to the readers, this really happened. I didn't make this up.
