Something Out There

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Chapter 11

The sun was starting to set, the days were getting shorter as fall slowly inched its way towards winter. The citizens in the small city of White Rapids were getting off work and heading to their homes. They were unaware of the turmoil that raged through their city streets.

One small house stood out among the rest in a poor and neglected part of town. To the neighbors, nothing looked out of the ordinary. They couldn’t see the many demons hiding in the bushes and behind their homes. If they were able to, they would see hundreds of yellow and red eyes glowing in the darkening day. All focused on one tiny, run down home. Waiting.

Surrounding the small blue house were at least thirty war angels. Sent to protect a 10 year old boy. They stood shoulder to shoulder facing outwards, their faces looked like stone. The only thing that moved were their eyes, they were scanning the perimeter of the yard, watching for any of the demons careless enough to enter. They were stoic as they held their large swords in front of them. They wore body armor made of solid gold and on the chest plate were a lion and a lamb etched in emeralds and diamonds. The armor emitted a blazing light, and it was this that kept the demons in hiding. The light meant only one thing. These angels were ready for battle; they did not need the prayer of a human for strength. Their strength was given to them from the Creator. The demons had no choice but to wait for Christian to leave the covering of protection.

“Christian, are you doing your homework?” His foster mother asked him.

“I don’t have any tonight mom.” Christian said as he curled up on the twin bed in his small room.

“Are you okay?” She said as she stood in his doorway.

“Yeah mom I’m fine, just cold is all.”

He rolled over and looked at her. She was beautiful to him. She had soft brown hair that hung past her shoulders. Her eyes were a dull brown and her face was plain. She never wore makeup or fancy clothes. There was not enough money for trivial things she always said.

In her own way she loved him. Christian knew that in his heart. She had taken him and Anna in almost a year ago. It was a foster home, but to Christian it was security.

She walked over to the bed and kissed his forehead. “I will turn the heat up, and dinner is almost ready.”

“Thanks mom, I will be down in a few minutes.”

Christian reached over and grabbed his blanket; he lay back down and closed his eyes.

Seth and Samuel stood in the corner watching him. Samuel looked out the window. “They will wait for him to leave the house.” He said watching the eyes darting in and out of their hiding places.

“I know that was a close call.” Seth said in frustration. “Why do they want Christian? He can’t be a threat to them at this age. I was careless in thinking they wouldn’t notice him until he got older.” He sat on the bed with one wing over Christian’s leg.

Just then all three of them heard muffled crying coming from outside the bedroom.

Christian quickly sat up letting the blanket fall to the floor; he got to his feet and quietly walked down the hall to Anna’s bedroom. Seth and Samuel looked at each other and followed him. Christian stood out side her door listening. He nervously placed a small hand on the door knob and turned it. Opening the door just enough to peek in with out Anna seeing him.

Seth noticed the tremor run through Christian’s body, “Go to her.” Seth said in a gentle voice. Christian quietly pushed the door open and walked in. He closed the door behind him and walked over to Anna’s bed.

“What are you doing here?” A small demon named Pain, hissed at them.

“We go where Christian goes.” Samuel said. “We think it’s time you left; and we don’t want you in the same room with Christian.”

Pain turned and skittered back to where Anna sat with her knees up against her chest. “I don’t have to leave, she is mine. I live here, besides you are a guardian, you can’t do anything about it.” He looked at Seth and Samuel with a crooked grin, and then began flicking his forked tongue in and out.

Bri sadly looked at Anna, as her guardian she could not make Pain leave either. Anna had the free will to allow the demon to stay. She then looked at Samuel, raised one eye brow and let a small smile play on her face. She nodded to him and stepped back to where Seth was standing.

Samuel whipped his sword out from beneath his cloak and stepped towards Pain. “I am not what you think me to be. A guardian may not make you leave, but I can!”

“Don’t you move!” said the demon. “Don’t you come one step closer to me?”

Samuel unfurled his wings, blocking Christian and Anna from the demon’s view. He didn’t speak, but just looked at this slimy creature yelling at him. He moved his sword to rest on Pain’s shoulder.

“I’ll go, I’ll go,” Pain said under his breath. “But I will return to her.”

“Not while we are in this room you won’t!” Samuel said as he used the broad side of his sword as a bat, and sent the demon hurling through the wall and out of the room.

With Pain now out of the way, the three angels moved to the side to watch as Christian slowly moved to where Anna sat. He reached down and touched her arm. He could see the fresh cuts and many scars from previous attempts to ease her pain.

“Get out of here, leave me alone Christian!” She flinched as he touched her.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself Anna; it only gives your pain more power over you. It won’t make it go away.”

“What do you care? You live in your own fantasy world; you have no clue what I do.”

“I watch you; you are always angry, angry over everything. I see what you put yourself through.”

“So, what I do is no business of yours.” Anna moved her arm away and put it around her knees.

Christian closed his eyes and Anna watched as his lips started moving silently.

“Don’t pray for me Christian; I don’t need your help!”

Christian didn’t stop. His body started to tremble as his lips continued to speak. He reached out and placed one hand on Anna’s knee. The touch caused her to jerk away. She could feel a jolt of electricity flow through her knee and up to her chest.

Christian fell to his knee’s and continued to speak; only now she could hear words, but they weren’t in English. He was speaking in a different language. “Stop it!” She screamed at him.

Bri took advantage of this moment and quickly went to Anna. She wrapped her arms around her and held her tightly. Because of Pain she had not been able to do this.

Anna put her head on her lap and let the tears fall, “What was she feeling?” She willed herself to stop crying, but the tears continued to flow.

Seth watched as Christian shared his gift for the first time. Samuel could only stare at what was unfolding before his eyes. The room became bright, as a circular globe moved like a tennis ball back and forth across the room. Spraying charges of light in all directions. As Christian continued, the globe became brighter and brighter, until light was spilling out of every crack in the room.

The demons that were hiding outside saw the light come out of the house like rockets shooting out in all directions. One blast of light hit a demon and in an instant the demon’s body exploded. They rest of them did not stay around to see more. The air became thick as every black wing took flight.
Last edited by Kim on Sat Dec 01, 2007 2:13 am, edited 1 time in total.




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The citizens in the small city of White Rapids were getting off work and heading to their homes


This should read, "The citizens in the small city of White Rapids were getting WORK OFF and heading...
thirty war angels. Sent to protect a 10 year old boy.


These sentences should be combined. :wink:

moved were their eyes, they were scanning the perimeter


"moved were their eyes, AND they were... yeah you get it.

His foster mother asked him.


His shouldn't be capitalized.

Whenever you use mom and you are talking directly about her, like right here:

“I don’t have any tonight mom.”


You should always capitalize Mom. It is her name. sorta

raised one eye brow


eyebrow is one word.

__________

Holy crap, Kim! Are you sure that you aren't like... J.K. Rolling disguised as Kim? lol, this chapter rocked! I mean it! Love all of the action and suspence that you build up. It is truely amazing. I just decided to take a moment and point out some typos, but don't take it personally. Everyone makes those. Well, Kim, this is by far the best chapter ever. I can't wait to find out what the heck is going on!

Can't wait for the next chapter!

BBB
Just write -- the rest of life will follow.

Would love help on this.




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thanks bear, i will go back and make some changes. thanks for finding them for me. i really apprectiate it. i am glad you like it!

kim




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I have to agree with BigBadBear, other then grammar this is a very intriguing story. Just when I felt i was putting it together, You throw in another twist.
I am looking forward to your next chapter.

Lysolstinks




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OK, can this story get any better? I do not need to repeat the grammer errors. Your already aware of them. I liked the fact that you brought the foster mother in and made her become real. Christian's identity also is becoming more clear. You are doing great at introducing these characters slowly, keeping me wanting to read more.

The only thing I would work on is the light in the room. You describe it to a car tire, that kind of took away from the moment.

When is your next chapter? BigBadBear said it all.


hummingbird
I hate mean people




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Sorry I know i have already posted on this, but i just read chapter 12 and it was a while between postings, so i reread it to brief up on it.

carl




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Wow! You really know how to write a story Kim!
You already know the grammatical mistakes - there's just one that hasn't been pointed out;-
The only thing that moved were their eyes,

It should be 'The only things that moved were their eyes' - eyes is a plural, so you can't use a singular to describe it ( if you get what I mean)
This story is just amazing!
Bkwrm :D



HONK
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