Feathers

Feathers

rounded phoenix feathers
softly, gently graze my cheek
dyed with inky tears
they retract their fiery fingers
as i am left to heal after the burns



Sorry it's so short. I think if I made it longer it wouldn't work as well. First inkling of inspiration is coming back to me now.
~Yoyo

Aw, I love this!

This poem brings up wonderful memories for me. Not only that--it's beautifully written. I think you do free verse quite nicely (I'm normally a rhyming person.) Your imagery, especially the part about "fiery fingers", is gorgeous.

All I can say is I hope this isn't a metaphor. Please tell me it's a real phoenix, not just some long-lost love!

Overall, amazing. Great job!

Thank you Fangala! I am most definitely not a rhyming person, so I commend you! Haha.

As far as it being a metaphor, I guess it can go either way! It doesn't matter to me. That's where the reader may decide how to take it. I am glad you enjoyed this!

~Yoyo

It was short, but good at the same time. I've written a short poem like this too and people also liked it. The only thing with short poems is it's hard to get the feeling out though you did well. One more thing, it just seemed to have no point. Just something about phoenix feathers. Even though I liked it, there was nothing for me there.

I agree with piepiemann22. There wasn't much of a point and I didn't quite understand it, but I also think it had its own unique beauty and meaning.
It is a cute poem =]

short and sweet

i love birds

Haha, it's cute.
You might want to consider capitalizing to make it stand out more and make it appear to be more complete as opposed to unfinished. Maybe a period after burns, if that doesn't contrast with your style.