Fall of the Midnight Rain

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Fall of the Midnight Rain
By V.G.S./E.G.S./R.G.S. or Whatever you know me as.

How long have I laid here,
Fading into oblivion in the darkness,
Sheltered only by the thoughts around me?

How long have I been surrounded,
Within the walls of this shaded confine,
And withered,
Without the care of someone?

How long has it been,
Since I have seen the light above,
And why do I not miss it?

Why has this all happened?

I ask this question of a fool,
And yet the answer rings clearly within my mind,
For I have lain here for one reason,
Since that reason,
And to that reason,

The Fall of the Midnight Rain.

Yes the fall,
It hath cursed my already sheltered soul,
And buried me deep within chained binds,

It hath strangled me,
So I cannot get out no matter my struggles,

It hath burned my skin,
So light may never comfort my existence,
No; not again,

And yet I want it; clearly so,
Yes; I want this rain to fall again,
Fall to ease this suffering I am experiencing,
And bury me deeper,

I have known that I cannot get out now,
So god tell me,
Why can't I go deeper instead?
If I disappear, who will remember that I existed? It's a question that most people ask, isn't it? That if you fade into nothingness, you will become just that.

So, who will remember you when you're gone?




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This was really good. The only two lines I didn't like were, "Since that reason and to that reason." I didn't think those two lines fit in well with your prose, but other than that I thought it was excellent.




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Thank you for your critations. ^^ It'll help me improve future writeings.
If I disappear, who will remember that I existed? It's a question that most people ask, isn't it? That if you fade into nothingness, you will become just that.

So, who will remember you when you're gone?




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A good work. I like the theme of release and the way you presented it.
"The one thing you can't trade for your heart's desire is your heart."
Miles Vorkosigan

"You can be an author if you learn to paint pictures with words."
Brian Jacques




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Thank you. :)
If I disappear, who will remember that I existed? It's a question that most people ask, isn't it? That if you fade into nothingness, you will become just that.

So, who will remember you when you're gone?




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A few punctuation errors that you should be able to find in a short runthrough. I'm also not quite sure how midnight rain is related to this kind of depressing (no offence!) poem. Otherwise, it isn't bad. I see what it hath done, but why? And why rain?

-Evang.
Break the boundaries, hunt the hunter, and leave me a tip.
----to kill or not to kill




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Well, it supposed to be a poem about ghosts. ^^ And if it rains at Midnight in Russia, it's a myth thats when all the spirits go and wander.
If I disappear, who will remember that I existed? It's a question that most people ask, isn't it? That if you fade into nothingness, you will become just that.

So, who will remember you when you're gone?




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Wow! :clap:
Very good! It blew me away! I was on my toes!
I really felt that...Good work!




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Gender Female
Points 890
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Why thank you! :)
If I disappear, who will remember that I existed? It's a question that most people ask, isn't it? That if you fade into nothingness, you will become just that.

So, who will remember you when you're gone?



Sea and Sky- both blue. Once, in proposal, Sea turned red. Sky's father- Sun forbade so she wept as rain, uniting the lovers in defiance.
— AlexWrites