I think Elena's power is very interesting. However I think it would be extremely uncomfortable for Elena to run on all fours unless she's somehow physically changed. I think the red in her eyes is good enough. (But that's just my opinion. It's your story.)
Why WOULD they lock her in there if the bars don't work on decas? And the thing about the pebble. This might seem nitpicky but where exactly is she getting a pebble if they're indoors? And would Elena's rage power kick in at something that simple? Wouldn't it be better if it only happened when her life was actually in danger?
In your first sentence
“Move it or lose it, people!” People ran in all directions, scattering across the street.
It's awkward to have the word people two times in a row.
Why would Elena say Jarson is nice if he's responsible for her capture?
It would be easier to read if you spaced the paragraphs out.
Hmmm..... yes, I'll probably change it so that she runs on two legs. I'm picturing it in my head, and I think, yeah, that just sounds and looks better.
As for why they lock her up there, I can't really say. Plot and all that. But, consider this, what if they didn't have anything that could keep her locked up?
Ah, yes. The pebble. Well, given Ada's short description, we can't really guess much about how they got her, can we? I can't really explain much, because if I have to explain it to you then I'm not explaining it in the story. Which would mean it's not stand-alone. As for it sending Elena into a rage like that, I thought I'd made it clear she was pretty high strung. I'll work on that... but either way, she doesn't seem to have much control.
2(People) - yeah, it doesn't sound anything near right. But I couldn't think of anything that would fit. I mean, let's take a look at the thesaurus: folks, individuals, public, general public, and society is what popped up. None of these seemed to work, so I'm still looking for a different word.
Jarson = Nice? - Plot! You'll just have to wait!
Uber/Deca hero = Sci-fi? - Well, I looked over the different options when originally posting. The main choices were fantasy (superheroes. It really did seem viable to me.) and sci-fi (the only prerequisite was "SET IN THE FUTURE" and, while true, it didn't seem to really be the kind of focus I was looking for. People wanting to read sci-fi would go there, look at this, and wonder what its doing there. It's focus isn't spaceships and aliens and time machines (oh, my!). But... then again...) If a moderator felt the need to move what I've written from Other to Sci-Fi, I won't complain. This is just where I though it was best suited.
Some of my sci-fi stuff doesn't happen in the future (Followers of the Light, for example). Super powers and all that belong to the sci-fi genre; it doesn't have to take place in the future to be sci-fi. But it's up to you.
