Open Up [edit]

Seriously, dat was gud. ^-^

I can't find any problems with it. Maybe something to complain about, but I'd have to get really picky then. The annoying sort of picky, too, not the helpful kind.

I don't think you need to expand on it anymore. Ending wise, at least. It strikes me as Edgar Allan Poe-esque as-is; dark and good! Anymore details on the end then this would seem more a part of a story, not a story in and of itself.

Oh, no...wait, where did the pretty French in the beginning go?

I mean, I liked the English translation, but the French was so...authentic...

A bit dark, but I definately want to read more! Corrections mentioned by the others apply, but this is too short to get picky about addressing the audience, it just made the jump into it that much easier for me.

Write more if you can. Its just getting more interesting as you cut it off!

Oh god.
My name is Camille.
Now I'm seriously freaked!

That was well-written, though. However, I can't give an in-depth review because everything has already been mentioned.

Great work!
-Ayra/Camille

Ah, Sade...the original sadist.

I find it somewhat disturbing that you wrote about this guy, at least from a speculative point of view. I'm also kinda jealous. Why didn't I think of this?

I believe this would do better under Historical Fiction because you are talking about an actual figure fr

As per your request, love! ^_^

*tilts head* Interesting...

Er. Yeah. Interesting. Definitely interesting. Short, sweet, and to the point, although I'm not sure what said point is? Lol. It's good the way it is, but adding more would definitely only make it better. xD

You're a brillaint writer and everyone knows it no matter how much you deny it (I forsee this coming up in MSN, lol). And even in short bouts, your brilliance shows. Don't deny it. =P

But yes! I definitely think you should add more. But it's dandy the way it is, if you don't want to add more. I definitely like the ambiguous ending -- leaves a lot up to the reader.

This is a delightful piece. Well done. And hey, I don't really have anything to critique. So fine, be that way. =P

-Saint Razorblade
The Official YWS Pirate

very dark
very disturbing
very unnattural
very good
the fact of the party the night before adds a great touch towards reality
im just begging for part two
keep posting

I really like this. Creepy, and I agree with people, the white room added so much.

While people says this doesn't have an ending, it does. It gives us a glimpse as to what EXACTLY an abducted person would think and feel. They wake up, they die. It's just that easy.

PM me if you want to comment.

I loved how you cut off the story with the screaming, don't change that, please. It was chilling and frightening. I loved the way you made the man behave before he started to cut her open. It was CREEPY on so many levels, but I liked it. I must read more of what you've written on the site.