A Cinquain called Frost.

Frost,
Crunching, crackling,
Crisp under foot,
Cold, miserable, grey feeling.
Icy rain.

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This ismy second Cinquain on Frost. I hope you all like it and please look out for more from me!

Hey Jess! I'm not usually fond on Cinquains because they're so short but you've managed to write a really nice description of frost in so few words. Here's a few suggestions -

Frost, [Perhaps use a semi colon ( ; ) here rather than a comma?]
Crunching, crackling, [Nice alliteration!]
Crisp under foot, [Maybe a full stop here?]
Cold, miserable, grey feeling. [I'm not sure about 'grey feeling.']
Icy rain. [This seems a little out of place seenas frost and icy rain aren't always connected. Maybe 'Icy shards' or something?]

Overall, I think you have some pretty imagery!

Heh, Kitty already got to the punctuation. All the commas don't really work in it, try to think of how you would read it and what kind of punctuation would then correspond to that.


The alliteration was beautiful! And if I recall, when I wrote my second cinquain, I put in alliterations as often as possible, heh. But I love alliterations.

I echo kitty on "grey feeling" and "icy rain". "Feeling" is a bit too vague and doesn't make me think of frost (otherwise known as snow) so you might need something else all together. Icy rain... "icy" just sounds a bit strange in relation to the rest of the poem. Not to mention, where I live we have snow and frozen rain, which are two completely different things, haha.

Otherwise, it was good! Cinquains are always a bit difficult, especially when you follow the style exactly, but I think you did well. Perhaps if you could add more power to your words to make me feel the frost. For example, "cold" is real general. Now, I know it doesn't really fit into the format of cinquains though, but as an example, "bitting cold" (though cliché) has more feeling than simply "cold". Even if you don't do that, though, it is still a good poem.