The Chronicles of Flaughston Book 1: A Reign to End

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The heratic introduced himself as Lampellogon, the king’s best advisor and good friend. He led them through the giant bronze palace doors and up a long hallway to a large doorway under a silver arch. Passing under the arch and through a thick purple curtain, they came into a huge room. The ceilings were at least thirty feet high and lined with windows. The floors were marble and they walked along a purple carpet down the middle. As they moved closer to the end, Jonny noticed the huge limestone pillars in between which were many statues of heratics locked in epic battles with goblins, giants, and ogres. At the end towards which the group was walking stood an ornate gold throne. Seated upon the throne was a middle aged heratic with guards on either side.
As the group approached the throne, the king stood up and raised his hands, signaling them to stop.
“Why have you come?” he asked Kamos simply.
“I am here to request the acquisition of more heratic guards,” he replied formally.
“You were already assigned ten of them,” the king replied in a cool voice.
“Yes, but the Dark Shaman attacked our city. Your warriors bravely defended and slaughtered nearly one hundred goblins! Unfortunately, several ---- that is to say about fifty ---- um, -------- shades ambushed them and, well ---- you know what I mean to say.” Kamos’s last words were rushed out.
“Yes, I do,” the king replied. “However,” he continued, “why would any of my soldiers want to help defend now?”
The question hit Kamos like a lightning bolt.
“I’m not sure,” he replied. “I guess they wouldn’t.”
“Exactly,” stated the king. “I also hear that you have the fabled imp army under your command.”
“That is correct. They have a sizeable force, however, the main bulk of their ranks hold inexperienced soldiers. They need battle-hardened, fierce fighters to guide and fight alongside them,” Kamos replied.
“I will be generous,” the king continued. “If you find the Lost Scroll of Inarus I will grant you three hundred infantry to bolster your defenses.”
“The Scroll of Inarus?” Kamos stood in shock. “Confound it! We could easier walk to the stars and back!”
“That is my offer.” The king’s icy tone was now more pronounced. He was obviously not happy with Kamos at all.
“It seems we have no choice. So be it!”
With that, Jonny and Kamos left the throne room.
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About a four days’ journey from Halle, Kamos and Jonny were traveling east on the Geneavea Road across the Plains of Caltall.
They were eating breakfast when they heard a roar in the distance. Thinking it was just one of the many ferocious plains beasts coming in for the kill, they didn’t worry about it. It wasn’t until they were actually moving that they noticed that the roars were seemingly getting louder.
When Jonny looked back, he saw, in the distance, small black shapes. As they got closer, Jonny realized they were goblins riding strange creatures. The creatures were large, about the size of a mountain lion. They were furry, had sharp teeth, and what looked like beards on their faces. Their long tails ended in sharp spines that Jonny guessed to be poison. There were at least ten of them and they were gaining fast.
“Manticores!” Kamos exclaimed. “Run!”
“Can’t we just …” Jonny started.
“No time! Hurry!” Kamos cut him off.
“We can take them!” Jonny continued.
“No! They are immune to magic!” Kamos replied.
They galloped the horses as fast as they could go, but couldn’t outrun their pursuers. Just as the creatures got within bow firing range, three objects swooped out of the sky. Wow! Jonny thought. Can this get any better!? Red-golden, scaly, winged beasts torched the manticores and their goblin riders.
“Who are they?!” Jonny asked in amazement.
“Dragons of the Ruins of Turnoil,” replied Kamos.
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"Speak softly and carry a big stick."

Theodore Roosevelt


"It is better to be present with ten men than absent with ten thousand."

Timur the Lame (Tamerlane)


"I know that I know nothing at all."

Aristotle




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Firstly, I think it would be easier to read if you started a new line for each line of speech rather than posting in block text.

As for the story, I think the plot is okay and some of your dialogue is well thought out but your punctuation needs a little work and there could be more characterization. Good description of the manticores though, very nice and in general I liked the action. Here's a few small suggestions -

Unfortunately, several ---- that is to say about fifty ---- um, -------- shades ambushed them and, well ---- you know what I mean to say.” [Why have you used dashed here? Just use three dots - an ellipse - to show the hesitation.]

About a four days’ [You don't need the apostrophe here.] journey from Halle, Kamos and Jonny were traveling east on the Geneavea Road across the Plains of Caltall.

Their long tails ended in sharp spines that Jonny guessed to be poisoned.

Can this get any better!? [A question mark is sufficient.]

“Who are they?!” [Again, multiple punctuation marks are unprofessional, just choose one.]

Overall, I think it's developed quite well since the last installment I read but there's still improvements you can make. Try to give your characters personalities that stand out more, that are more diverse. Good work.
Writing Gooder

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