An unforgotten Image

You know what I'm saying.
It's not so complicated.
You use to love it
and dear I still hate it.

You are so jaded.
Our love is fading.
I wish I could tell you,
what I feel like saying.

You said that everyone stays,
but nobody ever knows.
Everyone loves,
and nobody ever goes.

First, as you'll notice, not a lot of people post poetry with polls, especially if the polls have nothing to do with the poem. Even still, adding a poll to your piece of work will only get you less reviews. It looks sort of amateurish, and everyone expects you to have a poll that says, "Was my writing good? Yes, No, Other" XD So you might as well just not use them.


As to the poem: You're only thirteen, so you're probably new to poetry. It's a good place to start, but it needs a lot of work. Your rhyming is kind of unoriginal, and it's very obvious. Rhyming isn't bad, but it has to be done with intent. Also, the subject matter is kind of vague, so it's really hard for me to feel along with it, know what you're talking about, relate, etc. A big part of a poetry is that it makes me feel something, in fact, that is why I like poetry so much. It always manages to make me feel something. To do that is a lot harder than it sounds. It has to do with word choice, poetic elements, metaphors, mood, everything really.

But don't get all lost in all that confusion yet! You're new to poetry, so you're beginning. My suggestions to a beginner is to read as much poetry as you can. Reading poetry, reading at all, is just as important as writing. I know it's hard to find a poet you like write away, so pick up a collection of poetry until you find someone you like, then look into what else they have written. Analyze how they write it, and how they achieve making you feel what they do. Also, I have a copy of The Idiot's Guide to Writing Poetry and it's real helpful, you might want to try to find a copy.

I hope this helps! If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Hey, Insomniac. I'm not going to reiterate everything Suzanne just said, but I would if I was really bored, because her advice is excellent.

Your biggest problem is that the poem is a little abstract and terribly unoriginal. I feel like I've read it countless times before. "Boo. Hoo. You. Don't. Love. Me." And no one wants to read something they've already read! Tell a story, a unique story. Everyone knows the basic plotline of a breakup; make it special. Color in the details, and color outside the lines if you have to.

Also, you've been posting a lot recently--try to keep it down to a couple of new poems a week and make sure you critique others' work twice as much as you post your own.