A NEW BEGININNG- please read

The fire in his eyes
and the evil in his heart
was enough to shatter my soul
and pierce my heart with dread

He made me fall with just one look
when he stared he drew energy out
my soul was dying
my heart beats were failing

One night scared and alone
thinking about him
making my blood boil
i knew what to do

He was there as always
looking and staring
hurting and stealing
i walked over and stabbed him

My soul sored- (how do you spell it)
my heart thumped
there is life again, joy and happiness
its a new beginning

sorry about this poem i made it off the top of my head just now. Its about how one person can destroy anothers, but in the poem one person is destroying everyones lives and how one person cant stand it any longer that they kill him and finally there is happiness in the world. i told you what its about because i thought you might not understand it because its not very well written and its confusing, but im glad you took the time to read it and hopefully its beter than my other(not very good lol) poems. Thank You xXx

Yes, I agree that it's better than your other poems. YOU'RE NOT RHYMING ANYMORE! YAY!

It's "soared", by the way.

My soul sored- (how do you spell it)
my heart thumped
there is life again, joy and happiness
its a new beginning

This is really cliche. Other people will probably come in here and say this whole poem is cliche and keep b****ing about cliches. Most of the rest of the poem is slightly more original, but this part is sickening. Change it, add a little more unique flair to this. The same probably goes for the whole rest of the poem.

I think it moved too quick. Okay, you walked over and stabbed him. Why? Expand on this before you kill him.

Add some punctuation. It seems I've been telling this to everyone lately. Do people (including me lol) automatically assume that poetry=no punctuation? Am
I too obsessive about it?

Not great, but definitely one of your better poems.

I thought this was pretty good, but not great. Here's some crit/suggestions.

The fire in his eyes
and the evil in his heart
was enough to shatter my soul
and pierce my heart with dread

He made me fall with just one look
when he stared he drew energy out
my soul was dying
my heart beats were failing

The first stanza was really nice, though I think it would be better if you used a different word than shatter 'cause it creates kind of an abnormal image. I also really liked the second stanza, but I would suggest you expound on the first line. Maybe say 'He made me fall with just one look from his ______ eyes" because you could be falling from anything there and that makes it more clear. The last line was a little confusing also.

One night scared and alone
thinking about him
making my blood boil
i knew what to do

He was there as always
looking and staring
hurting and stealing
i walked over and stabbed him

The first stanza was really great, a nice suspense part for what is about to come though I do think as niteowl said that you should expound on why he/she wants to kill him. The first three lines of the second stanza were really good and descriptive so nice job there.

My soul sored- (how do you spell it)
my heart thumped
there is life again, joy and happiness
its a new beginning

This was pretty good but don't you think she would at least feel SOME guilt for killing him? Not just happiness. That's just what I think 'cause I know the man's evil, but she did just kill someone. Also, it's a new beginning? That would make sense if we might've known the relation he had in her life for instance if the man were her father of husband or something. But how is it a new beginning if it was just some stranger on the street? This was a little confusing, but this poem was overall really good. Keep writing!

Yeah, niteowl butchered it pretty well . Well instead of shatter you can use tear. Sometimes it's not too bad to use smaller words and i learned that through a rage I was in....

hey this is good , keep writing