The voices inside...

The voices inside…

To all the monsters beneath my bed,
And all the voices in my head

You’re the reasons for my screams;
Haunting me in late night dreams.

Spawning evil in my mind,
An open door I need to find.

A new way out to the light,
But shadows bind me into fright.

My vengeance will be made,
You’re role in this game will soon be played.

I will fight, I cannot run,
Erase the evil that we’ve done.

My mind is mine, leave me now,
I will find a way- I will somehow.

And now the time is dawning near,
I know that you are filled with fear.

I am alone, you are not there,
Scream all you want, I don’t care.

You thought you had but you were wrong,
Do not fear, your death won’t be long.

You tried so hard to control me,
But you were always too blind to see.

Can’t you hear the tolling bell,
I damn you now to burn in hell!

Now the voices leave my head,
My thoughts are clear and they are dead.

Dude...thats cool.

I loved it!

This is practically a narration of every night of my life when I was little.
(I had a very vivid imagination)
But enough about me.

The rhythm of this poem was wonderful, the rhyming seemed to come naturally.
There was only one booger:

My vengeance will be made,
You’re role in this game will soon be played.

It doesn't quite flow with the rest of this poem.
I don't know why.
But if you read it out loud, you might get what I mean.
Other than that, great!

It was a nice and subtle poem. It reminds me of the pressures we face each days of our lives be they peer pressures , parental expectation , or even our own expectations. And how we at the end of the day realize how much we have cowed down to them which in turn provides us with a firm resolve to face them better each day. this is what human resolve or determination is all about.
The problem , rather the only blemish i find in your poem i found is that it was too short and too simple in its structuring. But i do say this with conviction , man o man you got talent kid. Write on for sure.

Thanks...