Forever Waiting

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Nervous and tense outside.
But inside there is peace,
An oasis of hope for a thirsty soul.

Like a butterfly suspended on a petal.
Outside, eyes pricked for any sign of danger.
But inside, peaceful reflection;
The droning of bees in her ear, and the sweetness of nectar at her throat.

So quietly she sits.
Waiting for her turn.
Forever waiting.


I don't feel it is my best, but it got okay reviews on another writing site; just wanted to try it out here.
~Skye Demon
"A poet in love is best encouraged in both capacities or neither." ~ Jane Austen, Emma.




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Some of your lines are really good, such as "A butterfly suspended on a petal." It says a lot without being verbose.

The poem as a whole definitely brings about reflection; I found myself thinking not only what this girl could be waiting for, but also if she was even a human. The droning of bees and nectar brings about images of a hummingbird, but hummingbirds don't wait.

Overall, I liked it, but I wish you gave us more clues about who/what she is, and what she is waiting for. That's just a personal thing though.




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I see a fairy... maybe she wants to fall in love? become human? balance the budget? Who knows.

I liked it, but I feel as if though the last line is a tad redundant. We know she's forever waiting... you say that with the title.

An oasis of hope for a thirsty soul.


That's beautiful. And so true.
"El sueño de la razon produce monstrisos"
--Fransisco de Goya




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What do you mean this isn't your best work? this is beutiful, very good imagry. These few lines here are very good:

"An oasis of hope for a thirsty soul. "

"The droning of bees in her ear, and the sweetness of nectar at her throat. "

"Like a butterfly suspended on a petal. "

Very beutiful, very powerful.
***Honorary 11-Year-Old***

Heh-COT-ee-GUR-el

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I liked the middle stanza best.

The others seemed a bit general, and a bit confusing in a way.

But some of the lines were just great. Good poem.




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Skye Demon wrote:
An oasis of hope for a thirsty soul.



^ this part really is a beautiful image...
i love it!

Skye Demon wrote:
Like a butterfly suspended on a petal.
Outside, eyes pricked for any sign of danger.
But inside, peaceful reflection;
The droning of bees in her ear, and the sweetness of nectar at her throat.



i think this is my favourite part as well! my favourite verse
anyways...

i really dont think theres much you could do to change this
to be honest with you... it produces some really nice images.

good job!




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Hmm... Sorry I would not know wether it is your best or not, but I do know its the best of yours I have read. Based on what I have read, I'd say your poem is about a flower. Am I right? Am I? Am I? Anyway, I think its really good. I didn't think I'd find it in the 'Other Poetry' section though. If I had wrote it, I'd have put it in the dramatic (though my own poem is in the other section...) :D




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I thought it was very beautiful and powerful. Great job. :P
It's never to late to be what you might of been.
Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe




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I thought it was quite strange, nonetheless original lol. Butterfly? Faerie? Who knows? We probably will figure it out eventually...lol. I thought it was funny, Skye Demon!
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

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