Closed Classroom Doors

My heart tugs past the window pane,
Where I look out at England's rain
Yet here I am ‘til half past four,
Caged in behind a classroom door.

A blowing breeze makes tall trees sway.
It whispers, "I'll take you away."
But it can't whisk me to golden shores.
For I'm behind closed classroom doors

Other children talk and swoon,
While I look to the misty moon.
But there’s just clouds as grey as sores.
Between are glass and classroom doors.

When the bell rings it does not end-
There are more classes to attend.
Then as the day winds up once more,
I'm free, beyond this classroom door.

This is nice overall. Your enjambment, rhythm and rhyme are good for the most part, and I liked the pace,but I have a couple of minor nitpicks...
I'm not sure about "tugs past the window pane". I think it sounds a little odd...Other than that, the first stanza is very good.
In the second stanza I'd change "blowing" to something else, preferably something beginning with b, as, of course the breeze is blowing, so I don't think that needs to be said. Your rhyme and rhythm are good in the first two lines, but I'd change the third, as it's too long and disrupts the flow.
I'd scrap the next verse and do it over, as it just isn't as good as the others. "Swoon" and"moon"seem strange and forced. I didn't like "grey as sores' as it made no sense to me, and I think it should be "there are" instead of "there's" as it's plural. Also, "are" should be "our". A fresh start for this verse might be nice.
I liked the last verse. It had a good flow to it, adn was a lovely conclusion.
Hope this helps.

Wow, this was a good idea and I think it will prove well with some writers on here, as many can relate to the fact that we feel trapped in a certain lesson - although I don't particularly feel trapped in the English classroom 'cause I enjoy it.

In some places, you tend to add too much into one line, for example I found that this line; "But there's just clouds as grey as sores" had too much in it, maybe on the syllable side, so re-think this. Also referring back to this line, can I ask why you out as grey as sores. I thought sores were red?

Another line that follows this sort of problem is; "It whispers, 'I'll take you away'". This hasn't got enough in the line, I don't think, also on the syllable side and so therefore this corrupts the flow slightly and makes it harder work. I suggest you change it to 'I will take you away'.

Other than that, I enjoyed the idea of this and with some changes, it shall be great.

I liked it a lot. Um... my question is, when you say stuff about "looking to the misty moon"... I thought you were in school. How come the moon's out during school?

Whatever, it was original. I liked it.

Mmmm... I liked it. It was not amazing, but the rhythm, the rhyme, the sound, the dynamics--all were pretty nice! Just one suggestion (a general one):

Use stronger words.
Here are some ways:
1) Thesaurus.com. Best site ever. You just go there, type up a word, and search for another one that you've never heard before in the dictionary, and then just pop it on your poem. Ask someone if it fits, too, preferably someone who reads or knows a lot of English.
2) Metaphores. Similies too. They force you to combine words you've never heard combined before, the make images, they create beauty, and they force you to be unforceful. It makes you creative by choice.
3)Description. Simple--write a one-line description for every noun you use in the poem and choose the best word to describe it, and then you could add it to your poem or just trade it with the noun. Example: "The smoke climbed out of the window"="The swirls climbed out of the glass."

I'm not really sure what to say about it? This might end up being really short.


I was kind of curious why the moon was out in the day time--assuming that you aren't taking night school. It was a good line, but not logical. In places you missed some punctuation.

This is nice and well written, but it didn't do a whole lot for me emotionally? It was well written but... plain. Just like Gadi said, word choice. Best of luck.

Very nice.
Really liked it.
I think it was a bit short and you could've added more, but overall it was good.