This was written during an Honors Program Retreat for a Bad Poetry Contest and won me first prize. It is a rather dubious honor but some of you might find it interesting.
Death
Slowly I cut myself with... paper.
Over and over and over and over I cut myself.
It took me three months and a trip on a bus,
but alas my recovery thwarted-
by calculus!
Madly I scribble "integral from a to b x dx= b^2/2-a^2/2."
A snap in my brain leaves me completely insane!
I smile with glee at x goes to infinity!
I can be differentiated no more.
No longer with a bridle,
I'm completely homicidal!
No function will stand in my way!!
In a blink of an eye,
I see all the lies that my former sanity hid.
Where a family once stood I now see a vision of a different persuasion.
I behold- a system of equations!
"gniod uoy era tahw" the system sent to my fax.
"BE QUIET!" I screamed!
"Now you will see, me reply to your fax with my axe!"
The system lay dead
all minus a head.
How amazing the difference can make.
Now the cops come, equipped with their guns,
and I rushed at them at my max!
The projectiles fly and so do I,
towards the ground like an airplane I go.
With my last breath I say, "myzicks to my breath!"
For although math to a brain will drive it insane,
it is physics that results in death.
... man that was terrible. Comments?
