Drowning

17 posts1, 2
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No, there wasn't supposed to be any rhyme, it just sort of ended up fitting that way in some parts and I haven't changed it because all the other words I try to put in don't sound right.




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Gender Female
Points 2168
Reviews 183
I don't want the phone to ring again,
I don't want to hear you knocking on my door,
No more notes taped to my desk,
I just can't take them anymore. - Clever rhyming scheme.

The sweet words conceal the madness,
The suffocating watch, - Nice line
I'm drowning in your glare,
And can't seem to get away. - No rhyming?

Each time I turn
There you are,
Staring back at me,
Silence has replaced the joyful chatter,
But you won't let go, and I can't struggle free. - More rhyming.. :)

This isn't love.
Can't you see?
You and me,
We just weren't ment to be! - YEAH LOSER. Leave her alone. Bastard...

Like the first slice of cake,
I want the unbroken surface back,
The innocence of that first, sweet kiss. Aww.


I liked it. The rhyming was a little confusing, but it sort of doesn't matter that much. The poem overall was great, and nicely worded. You're a great poet.
Got YWS?



Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
— Apple Inc.