Cell Phone Pimp

Finally it is night,
And he is turning me off.
My battery is very low.
He's pushed my buttons all day long.

He inserts the charger: in, out, in, out.
It feels very good after such a long day.
I am rejuvenated and ready to work: again.

I was expecting something great from this. Nice job, you delivered.

He inserts the charger: in, out, in, out.
It feels very good after such a long day.
I am rejuvenated and ready to work: again.

Classic. This is a good poem. I suggest dramatic poetry for it.

Not sure if I'd use the colon inbetween "work," and "again," though. I'd just take it out. Although it does add emphasis, so it's up to you.

Welcome!

I really liked this. This metaphor you've chosen was really a great one. It makes perfect sense, and it doesn't get confusing. Short and to the point, my kind of poem. I was happy with this poem, and I also suggest moving it to dramatic poetry. Anyway, well done!

Oh, and welcome!

[Caitlin]