Orbiting in a Tin Can (link to recording fixed)

A little Coldplay/George Harrison-esque song. I was playing around around with some lyrics and effects and decided to record slow alternative track. I'm usually more of a classic rock guy, though.

Vocals and electric/acoustic guitars by me.

You can listen to it here (no downloading needed): http://www.zshare.net/audio/36533335531f29/

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i'm going far, today, I don't notice anyway
i'm in the stars, lookin' grey.
i drop down from mars, to say
i don't want this anyway,
i have to sing, on my own

and then i pick up my guitar, and then i sing
and i serenade myself.
each single note i play, will knock me off my feet,
so i fall and sing along.

i don't want to be here no more, i say.
i'd rather sit around all day.
there's nothing that you could say to make me go,
i'd rather sit here, and take it slow

i'll spin around for days, i know, i know nothing anymore
i'm in the stars, and so bored.
i resigned today, oh lord, i'm not involved no more no way.
i have to sing on my own.

Beautiful and simple lyrics; I think I could give a better crit, but I want to hear the whole thing, and your link isn't leading me to the recording.

-Colleen

Fixed the link...hopefully.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/36533335531f29/

*makes big eyes*

You are an awesome singer and your lyrics are really cool (but they'd be better if you capitalized your I's. >.<)

Oh, goody, the link works now.

As I said before, I do like the lyrics. The song was pleasant to listen to; you could have gone a little farther with the melody. It sounded rather plain and tired to me. I completely admire those who can compose for their instruments, however, and set words to music. That's a skill.

Thanks to all for the replies.

Did anyone think electric guitar was too overpowering. I've been listening to the track and it just seems so loud. But I'm a perfectionist...

i liked your song it sounded pretty cool
did u record it urself?

electricbluemonkey wrote:Did anyone think electric guitar was too overpowering. I've been listening to the track and it just seems so loud. But I'm a perfectionist...

I thought the electric guitar was fine. There was one point where the background seemed either loud, or just slightly dissonant. I think it was in this verse:

i don't want to be here no more, i say.
i'd rather sit around all day.
there's nothing that you could say to make me go,
i'd rather sit here, and take it slow

I can't listen to it now to make sure, because I'm supposed to be doing homework. But I think it was a little loud. I also thought some parts there were dissonant, but that isn't necessarily bad. I'm also rather far from perfect pitch, so I'm no judge of that, haha.