Einstein

It is with
Great
Distaste that I must inform you
Of the promotion of Mr. Andrew Einstein
To Dr. Einstein –

It is without a doubt
His ego shall be too big to fit into his cubby,
But we no longer need to worry about that
Since he was promoted to his own office as well.
However, should his head become too large
It may require that the doorways be widened so that he may pass in and out.
And should his pride swell too severely
There will be an office pool in order to purchase anti-inflammatories.

Should he step on any toes,
And possibly break them,
He will most helpfully tell you the number for 9-1-1
Then swagger off with the air of a genius.
We will send you a fruit basket and a get well card
And pray for your prompt recovery.

If ever he becomes
Too insufferable
And his actions too egregious
We will hire a guard to walk behind him
And thwack
Him with a cudgel.

This shall be the office policy regarding
Dr.
Andrew Einstein

hmmm I think the longer lines in S2 (L6 and L8) should be broken up--it's just odd to read short lines, than long lines. I think "Dr" in the last stanza should be "Doctor". It would look better.

I thought this was really cute! I did like it a whole lot, but it was kind of a so-so like, because it's more humorous than making me feeling anything--but even so I didn't laugh at all. I suppose I'm just confused about the purpose behind the poem, because I liked it but it was sort of, "Oh, that's interesting...huh."

Oy, did that make sense? I don't think so.

And thwack
Him with a cudgel.

This singular line made the poem worth reading.
Other than that, it was a laugh. It's rhythm seemed a bit off, but I'm useless at those things. Reread and see, I guess.

^_^

I love the way you space the first stanza! It highlights the distaste perfectly! After that, however, I wish there had been more aspects of wordplay or imagery. I very much enjoyed the first and the last stanzas, but the second and the third were only so-so in my opinion. The read rather prose-like, and while appears effective as it seems to be the body of a letter, I don't think it holds up because it makes the vast majority of the poem more prose than poetry.

PM me if you have any questions,
-Amelia