The peace core.

The peace core.

First, you will be able to learn a new idiom. For example, you can learn Spanish.I believe, you have to take the language class for three years. You can learn other idioms as well.

Second, you help people. You can teach people health or, languages. You will be able, to help the penurious.

Third, you will be able to meet new people. You will be able, to go to different places and meet new people. You might get the opportunity, to go to China.

Fourth, you will become a better humanitarian. Being the peace core will increase your humanitarian skills. By being in the peace core, you will get the opportunity to work with other humanitarians.

In conclusion, I think going the peace core is a good idea to consider.

Hi thing,

It's interesting to crit some non-fiction stuff for a change, but I'm not used to it so bear with me if I'm a little fussy XD

Firstly, I believe it is spelled "Peace Corps" although it is pronounced Core. Just one of those strange things that are unnervingly frequent in English lol.

Secondly, when you say "idiom" I believe you mean "language." An idiom is "a manner of speaking that is natural to native speakers of a language" (according to Google, anyway). For example, the phrase "to kick the bucket" is an idiom which means "to die" but to an unschooled listener it would be taken literally. You see? It doesnt make sense in this context to say that you can learn a new idiom, as I'm sure if you did take Spanish for a few years you would learn more than just one idiom! Another word for "language" could also be used, if that is what you were searching for - just check out theasaurus.com for hints.

My overall impression is that this is more of a brief outline than a persuasive argument. Sure, you have your points, but you havent tried to convince me that they're good ones! You seem to be relying on the fact that your reader understands the benefits of learning a new language, of international travel, of humanitarianism. Now, I'm not sure what this is for and so on, and you may have other restrictions which I dont know about, but in my opinion this is not a very good argument as it stands.

What I've always been taught to do is break down my essay/assignment/whatever into approximately five parts as follows:

1. Introduction. This is where you give the reader a kind of "map" to what you're arguing about. You state your position, and then give a brief overview of what you feel are points in favour of your position. So, for example, you would state that joining the peace corps is a tempting option because it offers new opportunities (e.g. languages, travel) and allows you to develop your skills etc. etc.

2-4. Paragraphs. Generally most essays I write arrange themselves into three main points, but as you have four you'll want to do four paragraphs. Each paragraph should relate to a specific point, in the order listen in the intro (kind of as you've already done). Basically, this is where you work really hard to convince your reader that each point is valid support for your main argument. So, for example, in your first paragraph you would say that in the peace corps you get to learn new languages. Then you would give an example, and say why learning new languages is beneficial (e.g. because you expand your vocabulary, can talk to more people, whatever). Do this for each point.

5. Conclusion. I'm not sure about where you live, but most of the time my university prefers it if you're more subtle with your conclusions. Basically, they're like an introduction in reverse. You sum up what you have argued and then reiterate the conclusion that it has brought you to. So here you would say that the peace corps offers loads of new skills and opportunities which are beneficial to the person who learns/experiences them. Thus the peace corps is a good option to consider for a future career.

A basic rule of thumb that's easier to remember than my rambles is: tell them what you're going to tell them. Tell them. Then tell them what you've told them.

I guess you probably know most of the above already, but that's just my two cents. I think you have some good points here, but you need to carry them further (and, moreover, flesh them out so that they interact and dont read like a shopping list) if you want to really convince your reader.

Hope that helps.

Cheers,
~bubbles