Little Blue Birds

Little blue birds softly singing,
softly singing up in the trees;
up in their nests
they cannot bring themselves to
fly, must instead be thrown
into the dazzling space of sky
to discover their weightlessness.

It is a bit short to be a poem but it was okay. The idea was alright but it was slightly flat. You need to inject personality into your poems and this just didn't have any in it.

they cannot bring themselves to
fly, must instead be thrown

These two lines do not flow and they stop the rhythm of the poem.
I think this was okay but it needs some work. Try to make it more interesting to the reader and inject some personality and originality into it.

I think so such a short poem, repition should be avoided, as it only looks like it was a tool to add length. In any case, the abrupt, punchline ending made this poem worth it's short read.

I'm not entirely sure I liked it, because there isn't much meaning behind, "Birds get pushed out and then they fly." For some reason, I'm seeking something more than the obvious in this but I can't really find it.


Maybe it was too short, or too straight forward for me. *shrug*

I felt the ending was a little too abrupt. I think that the length is appropriate, but this left me very unsatisfied.

Meaning. I think this is fairly straightforward. Maybe, as Clau said, too straightforward. Of course, it works as a metaphor, it doesn't have to be just, "Birds get pushed out and then they fly," as she said, but...I'm at a loss for words. It leaves me desiring more.

Repetition. I agree with gummy in that the repetition didn't seem to serve any other purpose than to add some length. It gave it a sort of rhythmical feel that didn't seem appropriate in such a short poem.

Imagery. This didn't have the same rich feel of some of your other work. I'm used to seeing you play with words and images, many times to great effect. This poem shed the sometimes convoluted and complex feel of your other work, but it also leaves behind your talent for creating unique and enjoyable images.