Solace

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*I did this for English Homework, so it's really bad. >.< But some fellow YWS names on here so I figured I'd post it. And if I didn't have to stick those dumb vocab words in, it might actually sound ok. Well, anyways, enjoy!*



Samuel Porker trotted down the dirt path waiting for the farmer to call him in for dinner. He went down to the other pen with Petunia. He was infatuated with her to no level. He came up to the fence and called her name. She was sitting in the mud and got up and walked over.

“Hey Samuel.” she said in her sweet, soft voice.
“Hey Petunia, how has your day been?”
“Same old stuff.”
“That’s nice. I’m just waiting for dinner.” Just then, the farmer called for him.
“I guess that’s for you.” she said. He lingered for a few minutes but then was forced to leave. He walked back to the gate and the farmer opened it and closed it behind Sam. The pig ran to his food and literally ate every last bite. Rick flew down and landed on a post.

“Hey Rick!” Samuel smiled and walked up to the crow.
“I’ve got news that Petunia wanted me, the awesomest of all crows, to tell you.” Rick said, putting a wing to his chest and looking proud. Sam snorted and Rick glared at him.
“I’m just kidding, Rick, you really are awesome.” He smiled. “Anyways, what did Petunia have to say?”
“Oh, she wants you to come over to her pen tonight to hang out.”
“Really?” Sam shouted with elation.
“Yup. So tonight at eleven.”
“Thanks Rick. You rule!”
“I know.” He said, and took off.

Sam had to be very discreet on his plans to sneak out. He only told his two great friends, Nate and Adam. They were sheep and wouldn’t tell anyone. When the farmer went to check on Sam for the last time for the night, Nate and Adam stopped the gate from closing without the farmer noticing. Once the farmer was out of sight, Sam was off. He said thanks to the two sheep and headed for Petunia’s pen. He passed by the dilapidated Chicken Coop that had been empty for a few years after the wolf pack attacked. He reached his destination and saw that the gate was open so he went inside. It was very dark and he couldn’t see her.

“Petunia?” He called quietly. He felt a tongue on his cheek and he turned to see her standing there. He was enthralled with her beauty. He smiled at her and licked her back. Then she ran around him and jumped in the mud, and he followed. They talked a lot and laughed even more. At about two in the morning Sam came back to his pen and fell asleep. He slept until at least one in the afternoon. He woke up to a tugging on his ear and a wet tongue on his face. It was Matt, the farmer’s dog, trying to wake him.

“What is it, Matt?” he said, sleepily, getting up.
“It’s Petunia! She’s gone! The farmer took her this morning!”
“He probably just took her to get a bath or something.”
“I dunno, it didn’t seem like it.” Just then, Mark came running up.
“Sam! They’ve taken Petunia!” Mark shouted.
“Yeah, Matt just told me.”
“And you don’t care? They’re going to make her dinner!” He shouted. “I just heard from the other goats.”
“What?” Sam shouted. Matt growled at Mark and bit down on his leg.
“You idiot! You’re not supposed to tell him until we’re sure!” Mark was about to hit Matt back but Sam was very distraught now. He fell to the ground and started to cry. Matt and Mark stayed with him that day.
In the morning Rick came to tell Sam the news. Sam looked up hopefully at Rick, but he just shook his head.

“Sorry, man. She’s gone.” A tear trailed down his beak and hit the dirt. Rick, Nate, Adam, Mark, and Matt stayed with him and offered solace to their hurting friend.
"After it happened I thought that I'd just try to live as normally as possible and bury it, but things like that don't stay buried. I didn't think it would, but it taints your whole life."

"My desires were bestial, obviously." -Jeffery Dahmer.




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*Claps hands* Awesome story Lindsay...I loved it. If your teacher gives you a bad grade on this, they suck lol...
But it really is an excellent story :) Congratz on making the best story ever 8)
-The Awesome Rick




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For the limitation that you had to work with, I think this was pretty alright. Storywise, it was alright. Characters could had been more developed though, but with limited options, that is kinda hard. Try to focus mroe on creating an intruging storyline. Then, focus on description the setting of the story. Chances are, the environment itself can tell quite a bit about the characters.

Hope that helped.
"To the edge of the universe and back. Endure and survive."




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Confusing! But I can see potential.

Are the characters sheep? Is that what you are trying to do? Because if it is, maybe you should keep that till the end, shock the readers, have fun by captivating them. If it's a human, this story feels really unrealistic, though I don't know if it's good or bad.

The dialogue was unrealistic in itself. "You rock!" etc. etc. seemed very amateur. Is that what goats will say to each other? (sheep excuse me.) Maybe.... "You are awesomeh-eh-eh!"

Otherwise, I am kind of impressed by the little you had to work with to produce a fairly intriguing piece. I liked it.
my world isn't only beautiful
it is so far away




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Wow! I liked this. However, I was confused as to what kind of um, creature i your MC is. I was preparing myself to be shocked at the end when you revealed it to be a, say.. a earthworm :)

But really, what is it? I am assuming that it is some kind of farm animal, but you give reference to the "farmer" calling it, so at first I was assuming that it was a dog or something. but then it is locked in a pen for the night, which made me think it was something else. Maybe you should also consider changing the names so they aren't so similar, (i.e. matt and mark) since I was confused.

So, yeah, I basically agree with gadi.



Attention is the beginning of devotion.
— Mary Oliver, Upstream