Every Slash Counts

Every Slash Counts

Scars of you

reduced to ribbons

Touch the pain

Put a bandaid where it hurts the most.

She tries to cry.

He takes the tears.

Touch the wrist.

Loves her more than himself, or so it seems.

Rain is red.

It's flooding blood

Thunderstorm

Lift your eyes up to the crimson.

One more gone

Nearly two.

Save the pills

For a neverending "next time".



Just a poem I wrote for a friend who's going through hard times. Really hard times.

Emotional poems are always difficult.

This is navel gazing. Some of your sentences are fragments, or they aren't properly punctuated. You don't need all the spaces between each lines.

This article might help you out: Emotional Poetry.

My only suggestions is, if you really want to write a poem for your friend, rewrite this. There isn't much salvageable in the current draft. Rewrite it so the reader can experience. You just tell us things, but we really don't know what is happening, other than someone is cutting or maybe killing themselves.

Also, read more poetry.

Okay. Thank you!