Changed it a bit, but I think the reson why she's been carted away is a bit to obvious.
Well anyway, tell me what you think, thanks.
~blue~
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Hello?
Hello, are you- are you real?
Oh thank goodness, I was starting to think i was going mad or something, seeing people and all that.
That happens to people you know, when they spend too much time in the sun.
It's always bright around here, lovely weather and all that.
Actually, I wanted to be moved to heaven but they told me I couldn't go. Gave me funny looks to. They obviously haven't heard that song, 'heaven is a place on earth'.
I moved here after I was fired from my job, I had to take time off work to look after my daughter and
they wouldn'd believe me.
Do you really have a daughter, they kept saying. I mean really! Like I wouldn't know!
But the people are nice here, plus it hardly ever rains. My daughter loved the rain, used to splash in the puddles,
you know how little girls are!
She lives in Australia, you know. Had to escape from the British weather, she said, leave all her problems behind
and all that.
Did you know how much it costs to go to Australia? They wouldn't let us go without a blood donation but you got a free stop over in heaven, so if you look at it that way, it was value for money.
I mean, I thought she would stay if I took the time off work to help her she would stay, but she didn't.
Ungreatful cow, used to cry when I told her to stop jumping in the puddles.
But she stopped doing that yesterday, grew up.
No, that was years ago, oh I can't remember.
Doesn't matter.
See, I sent my daughter on the way to Australia, it was just a little cut on the wrist, it would heal.
I was about to join her when the police came (evil buggers).
I told them that I had sent her Australia and I had to join her quickly if I wasn't going to miss my filght.
They just looked at me funny, jelousey, that's what.
Santa, is the code name for satan, only they don't know I've figured it out.
And you can't tell them, or they'll come after you like they came after my daughter.
Where was I? Oh yeah, I was telling you about how I quit my job to look after my daughter, just marched in I did, told 'em they could stuff their job and that was that.
They didn't see that one coming.
Well, now I live here. The decore is cool, all in white, real minamilist and all that.
I moved here after people kept asking if I had a daughter, she was in some sort of trouble, couldn't say what so she just
moved to Austrailia. And the NHS put my under the witness protection scheme.
Bet you didn't know they did witness protection schemes. But they do.
I heard them whispering about how I was found by myself in my flat, about to commit suicide.
Daft, huh? Yeah, that's what I thought but then I realised that they couldn't know the real story. That's why I'm under the witness protection act in the first place, so people don't know.
Gave me this new flat, it's really cool.
Plus white wards off evil. Thats why the police don't come here, they can't stand the colour white.
And the walls are really soft, they padded them specially, to stop me getting hurt they said.
Well, that's what they said but I know the real reason. The walls are bullet proof, arn't they?
I'm too clever for them, just like how I figured out the secret about the police.
Took my daughter to the police you see, they were in the shopping mall and they would give you presants and ask what you want for christmas.
Only, I didn't know they were they police back then, not many people did, not even now.
I can tell you don't, you look surprised.
You see, the police are evil. They work for santa.
I talk to my daughter sometimes, they tell me she's not really here. Well, obviously, I use a phone, but they don't
believe me. They keep saying that my daughters not real. Stupid huh?!
That's like them saying that heaven isn't real, just 'cos they haven't been there. It obviously exsits or they wouldn't sing songs about it.
Doesn't matter. They'll be coming in a second, to check on me, so you can tell them for me.
You will tell them won't you?
Won't you?
