Only A Woman

This was inspired by some rambling writing on my part, Theodora Chalice was born and I just had to put her in some sort of story. This is outcome, this is also my first major experiment with accents. Critiques on that in particular would be great
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Only A Woman

Theodora quietly entered the parlor of her well lit flat. Her nimble fingers removed her wool scarf, gloves, and cloak. She brushed a few strands of blond hair from her face as she sat beside the fireplace in her wingback chair.

It was an late evening and the moon could scarcely be seen from beneath its veil of dreary storm clouds. Theodora’s maid Linda handed her a cup of tea, barren of any additives and brewed to its strongest flavor. She took a long sip, grateful of the way the liquid scalded her tongue and burned down her throat.

At half past eight, there was an insistent knock at her front door. Frowning, she placed her tea on the table and stood, smoothly opening the door and examining the person beyond it.

"Constable Berkley."

"Good evening Miss Chalice. May I come in?"

Theodora nodded and stepped aside to allow the officer in. Linda quickly took his coat and offered to take his hat, he politely refused. Miss Chalice took this moment to analyze the man standing in her parlor, warming himself at the fire.

He was a stocky sort, red faced from saloon hopping with a pug nose and watery blue eyes that were weighed down by a pair of thick brown eyebrows. He had a beer gut and chubby fingers that reminded her of the bratwurst her grandmother was so fond of. He turned towards her and she blinked at the sudden movement. He held his hat tightly and regarded her with a stern expression.

“Ye may want to sit down for what I’m about to tell ya Miss Chalice.”

Confused, the young heiress obeyed him and clasped her hands in her lap.
“What is it?”

“I...well-“ The man exhaled, “Miss Chalice, we discovered the body of your fiancée in a motel early this morning. He was with someone who was also found dead.”

Chalice’s eyebrows raised a fraction.

“Who?”

“The other blokes didn’t think you should know, bein’ only a woman and all, but...I think you oughta know.” Another heavy sigh. “We found ‘im with another man in his bed. He was...in the act with 'im at the time of murder.”

The young woman gasped, placing her hands over her mouth. She shut her eyes and bent forward, her hair shadowing her from the constable's view. Her slender shoulders shook as she hid her face.

“I’m awfully sorry Miss Chalice. We’ll alert you of any developments when we find the culprit.” The man gazed at the woman with pity before being ushered to the door by the maid. Before he left, Linda stood closer to him, whispering with in his ear.

“How was he-“

“Slitted throats, the both of them.” He shook his head in disgust and tramped off into the night.

Linda sighed and glanced at her mistress from the entrance of the household as she locked the door.

“I’m going to the laundry room miss. Call if you need me.” The only response she received was her employer’s hand waving at her sporadically to leave her be.

The maid complied and carried her mistress's cloak downstairs to be washed. As she pulled various ticket stubs and change from the pockets, her hand brushed against something cool and smooth. Slowly, she pulled the item out to find a bloodied knife in her grasp. A frown crossed her lips and she shook her head, clutching the blade in her fist.

“Only a woman indeed.”

that was great!
i'm no good at writing short stories but you got your point across amazingly.
i love the ending.
=DD

Wonderful story! I thought you did an excellent job. I only spotted a couple grammar issues. I also don't know exactly what kind of accent you're looking for, but I can surely give you some ideas. I think I know the kind you want. I don't know. We shall see

"Good evening Miss Chalice. May I come in?"

Here's my first step in helping with your accent. Later on, you chopped of the ending of an "ing" word. Do that here too. "Good evenin', Miss Chalice." (don't forget that comma after "evening" ) He's so polite too! That's so cute! lol, anyway...

“Ye may want to sit down for what I’m about to tell ya Miss Chalice.”

later in the sentence, you use "ya" instead of "ye." Choose one or the other. I, myself, would use "ya." Also, how about "wanna" instead of "want to" and "siddown" instead of "sit down." (comma here: "...about to tell ya, Miss Chalice.")

Miss Chalice, we discovered the body of your fiancée in a motel early this morning. He was with someone who was also found dead.”

I may be going a bit far with my accent suggestions, but remember: they're only suggestions. Feel free to ignore them. How about "yer fiancee" instead of "your fiancee."

The other blokes didn’t think you should know, bein’ only a woman and all, but...I think you oughta know.” Another heavy sigh. “We found ‘im with another man in his bed. He was...in the act with 'im at the time of murder

"...blokes didn' think" may work. Knock off the ending of that contraction. "bein' only a woman" is where I got the idea of the kind of accent you wanted. I could be wrong. "Another heavy sigh" is not exactly a sentence. It tells me what happens, but I bet it had a green squiggly line in Word (if you use Microsoft Word). How 'bout "He made a heavy sigh" or somethin'?

Before he left, Linda stood closer to him, whispering with in his ear

Here's somethin' unrelated to accents! "whispering with in his ear" is strange. How about we delete "with," ya?

Slitted throats, the both of them

"Them" can also be " 'em"

I’m going to the laundry room miss

Comma after "room."

I hope my suggestions give you an idea. I hope I helped you out at least a little, if not a lot. I've wrote a story with this ^ kind of accent, if you like it or not. If any questions, feel free to PM me. I can certainly help you out as much as I can

Jabber, the One and Only!