Descriptions

I love writing descriptions so I thought I'd post a few.

She stood tiny against the massive idol the vast crowd had knelt to worship.
Her hair was the color of silver although in truth she was not a day older than sixteen.
She was dressed in a simple white gown of fine taffeta, a bright red stone flashing upon her forehead.Meek and quiet Aisling was usally ignored but standing against the hught stone cow How could she be? Ice blue eyes flashing face set.
Her cry was heard through-out the temple.
"Stop now your foolish worship of this beast of burden but listen to me your Goddesses own prophet"
The astonished crowd fell silent.

Good. You use your description very well. Hee Hee

~Lollipop~

It's an okay start. If you really let yourself delve into this it could become a decent story. Give more details. There was not nearly enough to create a good image of the person you were talking about. Dascriptive passages, if that's what you're going for, should be at least a few paragraphs long. Also, this is just a person preference, really, but unless you've got a really good reason not to, it is generally a good idea to give a character's name at the beginning, rather than halfway through the paragraph. In this case, it didn't work.

Well, you didn't give us much to work with..but from what you did give us, it looks pretty good. Certain word choices could be imporved, but that come with time...

Do you plan on writing more on this particular 'description?' or are you going to be writing different ones? If it is the latter, I shal be moving this thread into the 'other fiction' category...

Ohh
i will probaby expand on this soon but not right now as Its in a document i can't reach.
~Morgaine
p.s i will put an actual description on other fiction.

I have a bit of a problem with a lot of description. It all gets too wordy for me. Description is really important, but you have to make it fluid and not forced.

Your descriptions are okay, I just don't like them all together like that.

Makes me nervous.

Good Morgaine! It isn't much to critique properly, so I'll comment instead. You did well, it's always good to describe someone as they're doing something to keep the audience interested, which you did to some extent. I'm not sure it was quite enough description to give a reader a really good idea of the person in their mind's eye though. But a great start!

If I have w.b., I often find myself writing random descriptions about anything and everything, and from that I can sometimes develope a story.

Its really good, but expand it please.