POD 35 -Never Existed

Philosophy of the Dark
Chapter 35
-Never Existed
-On Both Accounts

Amber flew around the house desperately trying to clean up as much as
possible. Jamie was sitting on the sofa, staring mindlessly at the television,
wondering why she had ever agreed to this.

“Seriously, it’ll be great!” Amber exclaimed, collecting change from
underneath the couch cushions.

“I don’t know. I should probably go home,” Jamie said. She tugged
heartlessly at a loose thread on the couch.

“Everybody misses you though,” Amber said, “they’ve been asking me
questions for the past two days.”

“They just want to know about the case,” Jamie replied bitterly, “that’s all
anybody cares about anyways. It’s always the case, never the story.”

“Don’t be so melodramatic.” Amber sat down next to Jamie, “they all care
about you, you know. They all want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Why couldn’t this have waited at least a few days or something?”

“Because,” Amber said as she stood back up, “Tammy said we should do
this before you go back to school.”

Jamie froze, she had completely forgotten about school. All the people
there would ask her things, the teachers would look at her differently. She
had already lost all the respect she’d never had.

“Are you okay?” Amber asked. Jamie shook her head slowly, rubbing her
fingers against her sweaty palms.

“Jaim,” Amber said, “It’ll be okay.”

“Let’s just get this over with.”



***



It’s as if problems had never existed. People walk around, in
their bubbles of safe lies. It’s sad, really. These are the years we’re
supposed to be learning was life is like, when really, it’s not like high school
at all.

Life is when the smart survive, where the jocks and the beautiful
can be cast off in a heartbeat. Life is cruel. High school is just the illusion of
cruel.

Either that, or these people all have it lucky. Maybe none of
them will ever have to guess at what the scenario’s are like. They wont
have to worry about miniscule things like murder, abuse, rape, or even
pregnancy. They have the luxury of just living. While the rest of us fight.

Fight for our dignity, for our respect. It’s amazing how some
people will never have to guess at how hard it can be just to live.



***



“Jamie!” Natalie came running down the stairs. The party had been pretty quiet so far. The stereo wasn’t loud enough, there wasn’t any beer, everybody was waiting to see what would happen. Natalie always made it her job to change that.
“Hey,” Jamie said, standing up.
Natalie was wearing her trademark jeans with red spike heels and a red tank top. She had her arms extended out to Jamie. With a small smile Jamie walked over to her and hugged her.
“Welcome back,” Natalie said.
Jamie pulled back, “I didn’t go anywhere.”
“You weren’t exactly here either,” Natalie put one finger on Jamie’s forehead.
“What do you mean?” Jamie asked.
“I miss you,” Natalie said with a shrug, “You’ve been too sad lately, too…I don’t know…something.”
“Sorry,” Jamie said.
Natalie put her hand under Jamie’s chin and lifted. “No Jamie. Don’t say you’re sorry and drop your head and get lost again. Stay here, with us. Promise me.”
“What am I promising?”
“Promise me that you wont leave us, body or mind. Promise that you wont let this change you too much.”
“I promise I’ll try.”
Natalie smiled, “Good enough, I guess.”
“You guess?” Jamie asked, forging shock.
“Fine,” Natalie said with a smile, “Scratch the guessing.”
“Good,” Jamie smiled, “so…what do we do now?”
“Ah,” Amber came up from behind, “Now that’s a surprise.”
_________________________________
COMING SOON!
Chapter 36
Surprise, Surprise

JC!!!! Your writing just gets better and better!

She
had already lost all the respect she'd never had.

Was never supposed to be ever here? It's just that the sentence is a little pointless becuase if she had no respect she couldn't have lost it so the sentence dosen't make sense...

Anyway tres good I love it (again lol)

All the best,
Meevs
x

This was Ok. It could have been better. Jaime at a party? Yeah, you could have done a lot more to give this conflict. I liked the school conflict, but there could have been more, and I want more.

She
had already lost all the respect she’d never had.

No, just, no. Cut it. You can't loose something you never had. And you can't write a sentence like that either. Sure, its good dramatic affect, and because of that, everyone uses it. it's more natural to say, "She has already lost the little respect she had had." thought I had "had had". but seriously. Someone had to respect her before, even if she is wallowing in her own world-of-pain and can't get out of it.

I have two comments. This makes me think of those depressed friends you get that can't pull themselves out of themselves long enough to breath. She's turning into that. And it's annoying. Sure, she has every right to be, but I know from experience, people don't like being around depressed people. No matter how much you care/love for that person, you aren't going to want to be around them if all they can do is mope over there life, even if it is deserved.

Secondly, I'm going to quote something that was written on a rejection letter my friend Becky received: "Look, in our magazine our characters stand up and solve their problems, they don't lie down and whine about it." now, I think this advice could be taken with all works of fiction.

What is Jaime doing?

What is Jaime doing?

Backing off and being a complete sissy about life thinking that she deserves more pity than anybody else in the world. I guess I've always kind-of known it would become like this, but really it's just because I have no idea what to do at this point in time. I mean, I know what I want the end result to be, but how do I get there? How do I cheer Jamie up? What has to happen, what can't happen? That's the stuff I've been asking myself for a while now...And I just...don't know....

Thanks though, I'll try to fix it as soon as I can...editing is going to be fun fun fun on this one...Yeah...right...hehe

-JC

Okey pokey, I kinda agree with Claudette, although I think she has every right to be depressed.

This chapter was a little weaker than usual but I liked the part from Jamie's POV. I couldn't find any mistakes other than the odd bit pointed out by Meevs & Clau, so that's good.

Well, as always I look forward to more!!
Keep it up!
Alainna
xxxxxxxxxxxx

I've re-written this chapter.

I'll reread it in a bit, and edit this post...

I guess I've always kind-of known it would become like this, but really it's just because I have no idea what to do at this point in time. I mean, I know what I want the end result to be, but how do I get there? How do I cheer Jamie up? What has to happen, what can't happen? That's the stuff I've been asking myself for a while now...And I just...don't know....

If you want, we can go over the plot together and I can try and help you out =] Sometimes you get into plot holes like this [a character is depressed for X,Y,Z] and they are really hard to get out of. It just takes some plot working, and such, but I'm sure with all your talent and effort, you'll pull through beautifully. ^^

I would love help =D, Thanks Clau

Re-write!!! Woop!!

This is a little more...inspiring. It didn't make me loose all hope on Jamie. I could actually see yourself in Natalie, the writer acting as the friend to pull the character through. Kinda funky!!!!

As for the surprise......I'll have to wait and see...

Alainna
xxxxxxxxxx

This works a lot better. [I finally got around to reading the rewrite, heh.]

There isn't really any conflict but it is a lot better than Jaime just sitting around in her usual 'woe is me' mood.

I really don't have a lot to say...

I thought Natalie was being nasty and all. Got used to her being nasty... I want her to STAY nasty!!!