POD 30:4 -The Verdict

6 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 514
Philosophy of the Dark
Chapter 30:4
-The Verdict


The room was abnormally silent. Even the typewriter made no noise.
Amber was in her usual seat behind Jamie and Tammy. Across the room
Ortega was saying something quietly to Mary.

The jury came from a door on the side of the room in a straight line, slowly
making their way toward the jury box.

“Couldn’t they walk faster?” Jamie leaned over to ask Tammy.

Be patient.”

Finally they were seated. All eyes were on them, and finally Judge Vogel spoke.

“Has the jury come to a decision?”

man stood up, he was Juror One.

“We have.”

“Eleven of you have agreed on your verdict.”

“Yes,” the man nodded.

“For Jamie Dumont, on the count of grievous bodily harm, what is your
verdict?”

Juror one paused, Jamie watched him looking around the room. Jamie
didn’t dare to breathe, she just had one thought, repeating itself in her
mind. Taunting her, torturing her.

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

Juror one breathed in, preparing himself to speak. Jamie froze, the tension
in the room was tangible.

“Not guilty.”

All of the air held in Jamie’s lungs escaped in one long sigh. Amber might
have squealed, but she didn’t care. She was free. She was going to be okay.

Tammy was smiling hugely, watching the room rejoice, even Judge Vogel
had a hint of smile on her face.

Jamie cast a glace to the other table. Ortega’s hands were in tight fists, his
knuckles had turned white. Jamie’s mom had a phantom smile on her face,
but her eyes were dead and crying. The doctor and the nurse were there,
the nurse smiled at Jamie. The doctor looked like he didn’t care at all.

“Jamie!” Amber exclaimed, “You’re not guilty! Everything’s going to be
alright!”

Jamie turned and smiled at Amber, but the smile never reached her eyes.
Amber was overflowing with joy, Tammy looked the part of a proud,
successful lawyer. Jamie was free, but she didn’t feel free. Something was
still missing, something wasn’t right.

Somehow she knew that the fight wasn’t over just yet. Fairytale endings
weren’t made for her.




_______________________________

Chapter order:

34squared

30:4

35

(back to normal-ish)

hehe, yay! Finally the verdict, hehe =D

___________________________
Coming soon!
POD 35 -Never Existed -On Both Accounts
But that is not the question. Why we are here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. -Beckett




User avatar
Gender Non-binary
Points 1979
Reviews 1176
Oh MAN, they got her off!!! Yahzoo! And foreshadowing..... dun-dun-dun-dun-dun....

In a way, I think that's right. What Jamie's been through can't be resolved by a simple "not guilty".

JC wrote:"Be patient.”


Missing opening quote marks.


JC wrote:Finally, they were seated.


Comma after "finally"?


JC wrote:Finally they were seated. All eyes were on them, and finally Judge Vogel spoke.


Nix the repetition of "finally". You could leave the first, and simply take out the second.


JC wrote:A man stood up, he was Juror One.


"A" man?

Semi-colon instead of comma? Or you could rewrite the sentance and get those two facts together. Perhaps, "The first Juror stood up"? Whatever you think best. :)


Phew, the chapter order is becoming clear once more. :)

-Twit
"TV makes sense. It has logic, structure, rules, and likeable leading men. In life, we have this. We have you." -Abed Nadir




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 514
hehe, thanks Shadow! Honestly I'm kinda relived that the chapters will be somewhat normal now too! hehe.

Once again, thanks for reading!
-JC
But that is not the question. Why we are here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. -Beckett




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 5890
Reviews 410
My heart was pounding when I read that...I swear one of these days your writings going to cause me some sort of heart attack from suspense.

Anyways, fab stuff! The mistakes I noticed are the same as ShadowTwits so I won't bother pointing them out again.

Can't wait for more and to see what happens with her Dad....

Alainna
xxxxxxxx
Sanity is for the unimaginative.

Got YWS?




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 32885
Reviews 2058
Not too bad.


I should be rejoicing with her though, shouldn't I?


Eleven, aren't there twelve...?

The ending was slightly melodramatic. "Yay! but....no... it's still sad. because, it is."


But I'm sure in the next drafts, you'll clean all this stuff out. First drafts are always the worst.
“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 566
I swear I had reviwed this!!!!!!!!! I must have just read it and make comments in my mind....

Anywho!

Very very very happy that she got off! now just need to know whats going to happen with her dad!

xx
Bag.

Got YWS?



Poetry lies its way to the truth.
— John Ciardi