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Hunter Garrett

JFW1415 · 2007-06-14T20:45:09Z

The prologue is here: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?t=17103 Hunter Garrett The warm rays from the sun radiated onto my face as I leaned against the oak tree, the rough bark rubbing against my back. My eyes were closed, blocking out the glare from the noonday sun, leaving me to rely on my ears to make sure that my daughter was safe. A motor roared to life on the other side of the field, and I breathed in the sweet odor of freshly mowed grass. I sensed someone walk up next to me, stirring the still air. I opened my eyes slightly, looking up to see Cammie sink down beside me. “Hey, you,” my wife whispered, scooting closer so she could rest her head on my chest. My arm wrapped around her shoulders instinctively, and she sighed in content. “Hey yourself.” I closed my eyes once more, letting my chin rest on top of her golden curls. I heard the sound of laughter coming from the monkey bars a little ways off, and I smiled to myself, knowing that my daughter, Amanda, was the one making the noise. “Mommy! Daddy! Look over here!” Amanda’s angelic voice called out. Cammie and I looked up at our child. Amanda’s tiny hand closed around the last bar, then she jumped down from the monkey bars, a triumphant smile brightening up her face. Amanda skipped over, her two brown braids flying behind her. She plopped down in front of us, an expectant look on her face. “Did you see?” she prompted. I nodded as my wife replied, “You did great, sweetie.” Amanda beamed at us, revealing a gaping hole where her front tooth should be. “I’m going on the slide now, okay?” She jumped up, and shifted her weight from one foot to another. She glanced at the slide longingly. I knew she wouldn’t leave without my permission, though. I wouldn’t let her go on it at all if she didn’t wait for me to say it was okay. “All right, honey. Just be careful,” I replied. “Okay!” Amanda took off to join her friends at the slide, and Cammie let out a small chuckle. “What?” I demanded. “You’re so over-protective,” she replied, playfully punching my shoulder. “It’s just because I care,” I said. She rolled her eyes, but I ignored her. My eyes fluttered shut once more, and I let my mind wander. “Aw, what a cute dog!” Cammie said, waking me from my thoughts. I sighed, realizing that I wouldn’t be getting any rest, and opened my eyes. A golden retriever came bounding into the park, a leash dragging behind it. Its black nose rose to the sky, sniffing out food. Settling on the largest picnic blanket, it trotted right over. “Doggie!” a toddler called out, stumbling as he attempted to run over to the dog. The golden retriever paid him no attention, instead running straight onto the large plaid blanket. “No! Get away, you filthy mutt!” a woman shrieked as the dog covered all her food with his muddy paws. All eyes in the park were on the ruckus the dog was causing. Cammie let out a soft chuckle, then turned her head to check on Amanda. Cammie’s eyes grew twice as large, and I turned my gaze to see what had caused her to grow so stiff. She let out a scream, and my body grew numb. I only had a few seconds to cover a lot of ground, so I forced my body to get up. I took off running, oblivious to the fact that all eyes were now on the slide. Mothers called out to their children that it would be all right. For their kids, it would be. The gun wasn’t pointing at them. It was pointed at Amanda. “Stop!” I yelled, my rage obvious. The young man glanced over at me, his finger tensing on the trigger. I drew to a dead stop, not noticing when my wife ran into me. “Please…” I added, this time in barely more than a whisper, my voice quivering slightly. He glanced at me, a desperate look in his eyes. ‘I’m sorry,’ he mouthed, and I shut my eyes, knowing I couldn’t prevent what was about to happen. There was a loud bang, and I felt as if I had been shot myself, right in the heart. The man dropped the gun, the sun glinting off of its silver exterior as it hit the soft grass. His footsteps sounded miles away to me as he made a run for it. A shrill whistle escaped his mouth, and the dog bounded out after the man, his mission of distracting the park complete. I sunk down to my knees, unable to move. My mind wouldn’t process the information. It couldn’t be true. Amanda was only six years old! Cammie’s shudder during her silent crying woke me from my trance. I continued towards the slide, the twenty yards feeling more like twenty miles. My eyes were locked on my daughter’s stiff body lying on the sand in front of the slide. Judging by the amount of blood seeping through Amanda’s shirt, I knew it wasn’t likely, but one thought stuck in my mind, ‘Let her live.’

acosmist

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Reviews 6

Fri Aug 03, 2007 3:56 pm

acosmist says... · Fri Aug 03, 2007 3:56 pm

Aww, man, cliffhanger... And I liked the way you made it seem so sudden and somewhat abstract, it leaves us skeptical to whether the man killed Amanda or not (I hope not!!). Overall, nice story, gonna check out the next chapter when it's up (It might already be up....I'll go look)

(Holy fish, so many reviews before this one were sooooo long!!! *feels out of place*)

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Hunter Garrett

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