Sweeter with Time

First of all this section isn't supposed to be a part of my story. It's just telling about what happens before my story begins. So I don't know what I should call this. Should this be a Forward or a Prologue? Other critiques that could help me improve this are welcome. Remember: This isn't supposed to be part of my story!

After the summer of 2004, my family, friends, and even I saw a big change in how I acted and my attitude toward everything. I used to be a shy, quiet girl who used to care what people thought about her. After that summer I because a fierce, sometimes harsh girl, who didn’t care what anyone thought, and kept all of my aggression, and feelings inside, and would even sometime take it out on other people by making sarcastic remarks. I started to withdrawal from my usual activities like hanging out with my friends, and even gymnastics. The story Sweeter with Time tells about the hard times that I had to go through this change.

I’d have to say that it started after the 2003-2004 competition season for gymnastics, when my coach Becky, told me after floor at the State meet, that I was probably going to be able to go to Level seven. I was so excited that I worked hard all summer to get the skills that I needed for that level. During that summer Becky had a baby, and was gone most of our practices. By the time she came back it was time to make the decisions of who was moving up and who wasn’t. I finally came to find that I wasn’t moving up because, I had only competed one year in level six.

I was so angry that I stopped going to gymnastics practices and in my weak time and need for the feeling of accomplishment I went and joined my eighth grade cross-country team. At one of the practices I rolled my ankle badly on a curb, but I ignored the pain and continued to do exercise on it, I eventually went back to gymnastics and the ankle pain went away. This is where my story begins. The ankle pain eventually started to come back and was the beginning of many hard times for me along with my teammates, coaches, and family watching me struggle through this difficult time.

I will be posting the first chapter soon!

Oh, is this true? What actually happened?

Gymnast wrote:I was so angry that I stopped going to gymnastics practices and in my weak time...

Weak = week?

Anyhow, looks to be interesting...

After the summer of 2004, my family, friends, and even I saw a big change in how I acted and my attitude toward everything. I used to be a shy, quiet girl who used to care what people thought about her. After that summer I [s]because[/s]became a fierce, sometimes harsh girl, who didn’t care what anyone thought[s],[/s]Comma should be a period [s]and[/s]I kept all of my aggression, and feelings inside, and would even sometime take it out on other people by making sarcastic remarks. I started to withdrawal from my usual activities like hanging out with my friends, and even gymnastics. The story Sweeter with Time tells about the hard times that I had to go through this change.

I’d have to say that it started after the 2003-2004 competition season for gymnastics, when my coach Becky, told me after floor at the State meet, that I was probably going to be able to go to Level seven. I was so excited that I worked hard all summer to get the skills that I needed for that level. During that summer Becky had a baby, and was gone most of our practices. By the time she came back it was time to make the decisions of who was moving up and who wasn’t. I finally came to find that I wasn’t moving up because, I had only competed one year in level six.

I was so angry that I stopped going to gymnastics practices and in my [s]weak[/s] time [s]and[/s]ofI just though it sounded better without the weak. Just my opinion need for the feeling of accomplishment I went and joined my eighth grade cross-country team. At one of the practices I rolled my ankle badly on a curb, but I ignored the pain and continued to do exercise on it, I eventually went back to gymnastics and the ankle pain went away. This is where my story begins. The ankle pain eventually started to come back and was the beginning of many hard times for me along with my teammates, coaches, and family watching me struggle through this difficult time.

Sounds good. I'll go check it out when I get a chance.

One thing, too many commas.

quote: kept all of my aggression, and feelings inside

Quote: hanging out with my friends, and even gymnastics.

These two commas aren't needed.


quote: After that summer I because a fierce, sometimes harsh girl,

Don't you mean Became?

Other than those few things, though, I think THis is pretty cool. Something simular happened to me.

Yeah this acctually happened. This is going to be a story about me, and my life in gymnastics.

Withdraw rather than withdrawl

the hard times that I had to go through this change. that I had to go through to reach this change or that I had to go through during this change.

and was gone for most of our practices

Other than that, it's a good prologue and very interesting.

Thanks everyone!