More to Be Desired [Chapter 2]

5 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 34
Chapter 2



“That’s a mirror,” James replied slowly

“Just…a mirror? An ordinary, every day mirror?”

“Yes, well, no.” He stuttered. She glanced at him and realized he had turned pale.

“Then what is so special about the mirror?” She curiously inquired

“It can grant your…every desire.” He blushed at the thought. She wondered the possibilities.

“But, it shouldn’t be used often. Once abused, the mirror can backfire.”

“How so?” She asked, glancing around the room anxiously.

“No one knows for sure. But all I know that I would not like to find out. Some bad things can happen and I’m certain you don’t want to find out either. Promise me you won’t play around with the mirror.” He looked her in the eye and anxiously played with his gold Rolex watch that was on his left hand. She looked towards the ground and sighed.

“I…promise.”

He grabbed her hand and kissed it again. She looked at him and smiled. He blushed and dropped her hand so it hung gently by her side. He hung his head, slightly embarrassed for making such a bold move on a lady. She outstretched a hand and placed it on the side of his cheek. He looked up and smiled. She met his eyes and opened her mouth to speak.

“James, my father is going to be arriving soon. May I go change?”

“Go right ahead. Would you like me to carry your bags?” He questioned.

“I’d love that. Thank you.” She answered.

“Alright then. I’ll go fetch them from the car.”

They parted ways. As soon as Joanna started to walk towards the spiral staircase, she could feel his eyes on her as he made his way towards the foyer. He lightly closed the front door behind him.
Last edited by ATragicLoveStory on Sat Sep 15, 2007 3:42 am, edited 1 time in total.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 18
hehe, this is going to be a very romantic story :)
i likeeeee
hehe, cant wait to read chapter trois
:)
Lurve Ethan
You forgot me again, ill just stay here to bleed and rot, kiss my corpse and tell them i died i full man, when i died but a child




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 5577
Reviews 672
Hrmm it's quite short for a chapter. Didn't really tell me much besides the fact that the mirror is dangerous and they are a couple. Expand more on the situation will ya?

You also lack some description. All I see is a mirror located in maybe in a bed room or bathroom. Who knows?

Your character seem a bit flat at the moment. Show us more about them.

That's all I have to say. I think this would be an interesting read if you do the following.

Later
"To the edge of the universe and back. Endure and survive."




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 4601
Reviews 141
1 make it a little longer.
2 No mistakes in grammer.
3 Lack of discription at some points.


Well thats it.
--
Who is not Insane one man ask, the answer being a fool.
Are you Insane the same man asks, - "Oh yes!. The Mad Hatter being saner!"




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 21
Yeah, unlike your chapter one, this chapter lacked a bit in description, although specifying which hand his rolex was on was unnecessary IMO. The characters still need some depth but the love aspect did make them seem more deep.
I hope to read your next installment soon.
I am but a warrior seeking the greatest honor, a swift death upon the battlegrounds.



Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it.
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein