Her suicide note

Author13, the actual idea behind the poem I thought was intruging, but the way that it was presented killed any chance of it being memorable and interesting. It read like a story that was being told rather than using poetic devices and techniques to show what is happening.

More imagery and descriptions would help make this piece come alive. Drawing out the emotion of the piece will make it feel more compelling to read.

I also disagree with some of the mods about rhyming. I don't believe this piece needs rhyming. If you change the wording of the sentences and show rather than tell, then I rhyming is not compulsory.

GOOD! but it kinda stuck out to me how you used "plagued" in the 4th and 6th stanza.
other then that it was quick and to the point. GOOD.GOOD.GOOD.

Good poem. It sort of lacked the rhythm a poem needs, but then again poems don't need rhythm at all. There are no rules in poetry. And for a suicide note poem, it was alright. Hope to see another one Alice.

I think that it is just the perfect length. This is very good. Some parts though had no ryme I think, and were a little bad.
Over all I really liked it.
P.S.
I don't think that this is rated R maybe PG 13.

-- M.B.Author

Alice once again awesome job......this poem is so sad.....but i did not really understand what you meant by "that this wasn't just mine"......i mean is it that the note is for others to see....but anyways i really liked it




-Uo The lady in gray

after reading the first stanza, i thought the rest of them would rhyme too so it was a bit of a surprise when they didn't. i liked the idea of the poem but it was a little bit bland. i think you need more feeling. also pertaining to feeling "an emo touch to it" seems really really really out of place in this poem. that is one line i would definitely change! another less-than-perfect part is where you say "and although i disagreed/i could not contradict". why wouldn't you contradict if you disagreed? like i said before, i like the idea of the poem. i just think it needs some changes.
all the best
~abby~

very interesting...i really liked it. even though it was an inconsistant pattern the words just seemed to work. sure the idea was a little conventional but you pulled to off. you were really able to work with the words and make them "get together". nice work!!!

This was a very different poem, but I liked it a lot! The only thing that was confusing was that I thought it was going to be a rhyming poem, but then I got to the middle and it changed. But other then that I thought it was very good!