Revision to a sappy poem

I still don't like the "you know" but hey, it's your poem.

And I NEVER thought it was sappy.

Just one stupid little thing. Perfect, not perfec t.

Love it. Love it, love it, love it, love it.

Some of the ideas are a little cliche...for example...lying on a grass field, but you seemed to be able to break free of the orthodox way of expressing this so in a way, it wasn't as sappy as it could have been.

oh my gosh...oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh....


*tear*

there aren't words

this was just....
I don't even have any words.
it was perfect.
so perfect.

no words

I like it much, much better.

Except for chipped toenails. The image makes me cringe.

I'm amazed how you transformed a poem that was moderate (okay, maybe not so good at all), into this decent piece of literature.