Hey Imelda! I'm happy to see you posting in the fantasy fiction forum! Once again, welcome to YWS. I'm going to do this the easy way and crit while reading...
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This was very good, Imelda! You have a beautiful writing style and your word choice is for the most part fantastic. I enjoyed this a lot. The biggest thing I noticed was the frequent presence of unnecessary phrases, so watch out for those as you keep writing. Very nicely done. Keep writing and PM me if you have any questions or need anything. A pleasure to read your stuff.
Hey Imelda! Welcome to YWS, even though you already have more experience than I do! (I hardly ever post … I just like to read the stories) Anyway, I would just like to say that I enjoyed reading your story. You have a great style of writing and I can’t wait to read more. (Maybe I never post because I suck at editing?) Sad.
I think I already critted all this on TW. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Homework: (Noun) a punishment given to students by evil teachers after the students have already put in 7 hours of hard labor. (See evil, torture, wrong, cruel, unjust, satan)
