Inner power Outer power
Part one
By: FireArris
The sun has just risen. Her eyes opened to the sun light shining through her window. She got up and got dressed, brushed her teeth, brushed her hair, braided her hair, put her shoes on, and then quietly left her hut. She walked to a medium sized shack, she walked in with the other children. They could see the beautiful sun rising over the trees out the window. "Good morning class, today we will learn about outer power and inner power." Said Jade, the school teacher of the village. Jade was a young, pregnant elf with black hair and green eyes.
"Kay! What is inner power and outer power?
"Inner power is the power you are born with inside you and outer power is the power you can get and people want. But inner power is more powerful than outer power!"
"Correct, Kay! Outer power is hard to get, but inner power is what you already have and you are born with!" Kay smiled as Jade was explaining it to the class. But then she remembered,
"Oh no! Sorry Jade! I have to go."
"Huh? How come? You just arrived."
"I want to do some stuff before I have to do all my chores."
"Well okay, come back soon!"
"I will!" Kay ran off to a secret river hidden from the town. Kay stays there a long part of the day to get away from others. There is a pond, river, lots of grass, flowers, a mini waterfall, and an apple tree. Kay picked a blossom and put it in her hair. It was a beautiful pink and red blossom that just bloomed that season, spring. "Hello Kay."
"Huh? Jarith?"
"Yep."
"How did you find me?"
"I come here to relax in secret."
"Me to." Jarith walked over to her and sat by her, Jarith smiled. Jarith has snow white hair, white skin, and leaf green eyes, he is about a year older than Kay.
"How are you?"
"I am fine. That blossom looks lovely."
"Thanks." Kay said with a smile.
"Do you know what I realized?"
"What?"
"Everyday is the same to me. Everyday I do the same stuff, wake up, get ready for school, go to school earlier than any other kid, explore the woods, come here, and then do nothing."
"Aw man…"
"What?"
"It is time for me to go home and do chores! I have a very tight schedule, I am never in one place for very long."
"I could help you with your chores! I would have something to do and you would have more time for fun today!"
"Sure! Let's go!" So they ran back to Kay's house and put on some working gloves and clothing.
"How could I help, Kay?"
"Um…go feed and water the cattle."
"Right away, farmer Kay!" He grabbed an armful of hay and ran in the barn, he fed each animal, even the dog and chickens!
"You are done with the animals already?"
"Yep! What is next?"
"While I finish cleaning the house you clean up the yard!"
"Alright!" He picked up a ball, some doggy toys, he raked up some leaves and watered the plants. Kay picked up toys, doggy toys, she washed dishes, and she swept the floor, and cleaned her room.
"I am all done! Are you?"
"Yep I am!"
"Then we are done with chores! What now?"
"Hmm… Hey! Do you like riding horses?"
"I don't know. I have never ridden one."
"What about this black one?"
"Nope, I do not know how, and Lightning does not like to be ridden."
"Well I could teach you how to ride her!"
"If you say so." Jarith put a bridle and saddle on the horse.
"Here Kay, Lightning is ready!"
"So how do I start?"
"You get on for one thing. Here, you get on like this, you put your foot here and pull your self up."
"Okay, I am ready to try it." So she got up on the horse and waited for Jarith to show her the next step.
"Alright, next you use these ropes the steer the horse. Pull to the left if you want the horse to go right or pull right to make the horse go left, that simple!"
"You know, this would be easier if I had some sort of a power. Maybe some way to control the horse."
"You don't have a power?"
"I don't think so...do you?"
"No, I don't think I have one either." There was silence. Kay started to steer the horse in circles around the yard.
"Hey I think I have it!"
"Good job Kay. Hey could you wait here?"
"Sure."
"Okay, I will be right back!" He ran off and soon disappeared. He came back shortly with a backpack filled with clothing, marbles, a notepad and pencil, and a knife to protect himself.
"Back so soon? Why did you leave anyway?"
"I have an idea."
"What?"
"Maybe you and I can go out on a quest."
"What type of quest?"
"A quest to find Outer Power!"
"What? Are you sure about this? It is not like I can leave without telling my dad, and if I did tell my dad he would not let me go!"
"Then lie to him," Jarith said with a strange look on his face.
"Lie to him!? I can not lie to my dad!"
"Sure you can, tell him that you are going to go travel and explore a little and it might be a few days."
"Well..."
"Please. Just a short quest!"
"Well...Okay, but it has to be short."
"Of course! Nothing but short. Meet me at our secret spot by the blossom tree with your backpack tomorrow. Now pack your backpack!"
"Okay. I will see you tomorrow! Bye!"
"Bye!" Then Jarith dashed off and soon disappeared. Kay went inside to pack. She grabbed her back pack and inside it she put easy to walk and run in clothing, a water bottle, some jars filled with goomen a gel that will keep you full and hydrated, food, maps, and a list of all the outer powers there are. Soon it got dark and she went to sleep. She had a dream. She had returned with outer power and the town was dead, and if she did not leave all the people and the town would be alive because she could protect it and she always had inner power, but she just did not know it. Then she woke up and got some water and went right back to sleep. She had another dream. In that dream the town was safe when she returned and she felt so powerful and warm inside, she loved it! She woke and forgot all about her bad dream. She grabbed her pack and left a note on the door that said:
I have left to go explore a little bit. I will be back in maybe a week or two. I also plan to visit my aunt and uncle too! See you soon!
Kay.
She went to the secret spot and Jarith was waiting there eating a peach.
"You ready?"
"Yep! How about you Jarith?"
"Yep. Let's go!"
"By the way. Where exactly are we going?"
"There!" Jarith said pointing to the woods.
"Okay. Um… let's go!" Kay quickly put her hair in a braid so it would not get in the way. Jarith just left his hair out. They went to the border of the forest and then Kay stopped.
"What is wrong?"
"I never went farther from home than here."
"I have."
"Of course you have."
"Well then, it will be a big adventure for you."
"I guess your right."
"Well let's go!"
"Okay, let's." Then they ducked under the crazy gate of branches. They stepped over branches and fallen trees. All the sudden Jarith stopped.
"What the?"
"What's wrong Jarith?"
"Those rocks were never there before." He said staring at a big, empty, square of rocks on the ground.
"There everywhere on the ground!"
"They were not there before."
"When was the last time you were here?"
"Last week."
"What? But those rocks could not get there in that little time!"
"I know."
"Well it's not like there aren't any rocks around."
"True. But there are very few rocks in these woods."
"What? There are plenty rocks. What is the difference between these woods and others?"
"These are the Riverelda Woods. The woods of life."
"So?"
"There used to be many geodes here, and then people found them. They took every single rock in sight incase it was a geode. And there were never many rocks since then."
"What happened to those people? Did they get in trouble and something happened to them?"
"No."
"Then what happened to them?"
"They became damn rich!" Then he heard a whiz and looked behind himself and an arrow went through his arm.
"Jarith are you okay?"
"Who shot me?"
"I-"All the sudden a guy swung down on a rope and landed right in between them.
"I am so sorry! I was practicing shooting the bow I made, and then I saw where the shouting was coming from. And then I saw you!"
"Apology accepted. Who are you?"
"My name is Quiry."
"I am J-"
"So what's your name?"
"Kay."
"And I am Jarith."
"Sorry for shooting you Jarith, could I help fix up your arm?"
"Yes, please." Then Quiry tied cloth around his arm and fixed it up.
"So why are these rocks here?"
"Those aren't rocks."
"Then what are they Quiry?"
"They are eggs. I hid them when men where taking geodes. They killed some of my friends."
"What friends?"
"They took eggs. They cracked open the eggs and sold a magic orb that is within the eggs."
"Orb?"
"Yes that was like a yoke for these creatures."
"What creatures?"
"First tell me what you are doing around here. Don't worry I won't stop you." Kay looked at Jarith and he nodded.
"Jarith and I are going after outer power because we don't have inner power."
"Hippogriffs, Dragons, and Griffins. I think I can help you on your quest I can see those but others can't. I can make it so people can see them, but only temporarily." Kay looked at Jarith again for advice. He nodded again.
"You can help."
"Great."
"Yes great."
"I could give you two the power to see the creatures."
"Okay!" He touched his hands on both of them, and waited.
"It's done now."
"It is? We can see them now?"
"Yep."
"When will those eggs hatch?"
"When I want them to."
"How?" Then he touched an egg with his finger and closed his eyes. It took a lot of his energy but then the egg started to crack, then a hippogriff head popped out. The little creature broke out of the tough shell and shook its body.
"That is how."
"Wow. How long till it grows?"
"Now."
"What?" Then he touched his finger the little creature, closed his eyes, and waited. It took even more energy. But it grew larger and larger, till it grew no more. It was a little bit bigger then a horse.
"Hop on."
"What?"
"Come on, I will fly you somewhere closer to outer power."
"How?"
"My creature can sense outer power. But he can not track it. He can only track it part of the way there."
"Okay, let's go Jarith!"
"Sure." Then Ouiry Hopped on his creature and helped Kay and Jarith up.
"Ready?"
"Yep!" Then Quiry whistled and his creature spread its wings and started flying."
"Wow! This is so cool!"
"I have to admit your right Kay, this is pretty cool." Jarith had his arms crossed and no expression on his face, it was just blank. Kay's face was filled with joy and light, her eyes big and bright with a big smile of fun. Quiry was just smiling looking at Kay with delight.
"You won't be smiling very long my dear." A man said using magic to watch Kay, Jarith, and Quiry from is giant home as they come closer and closer.
"She will keep smiling."
"Why?"
"She won't come as close as you think."
"Maybe your right. But I have another way to get her here."
"How?"
"You."
"I will not do this for you anymore! I do not want to go out and get whatever you want for you!"
"Yes you will. Or you will leave, it is your choice. But if you decide to leave you will never be known as Lady Faron again." Lady Faron sighed.
"Fine."
"See I do have power over you."
"If you had power over me then you would have the power to get what you want by yourself."
"Maybe, maybe not."
"I will not go get them till there friend leaves."
"What friend?"
"The archer."
"Very well. He might have a surprise attack anyway. Go immediately when he leaves."
"Yes Garon." She sighed with relief.
The next morning Garon called her to a meeting on how to have victory.
"I will set a trap."
"What trap?"
"I will release some of my outer power and put it in one spot. They will find it and then you attack them."
"The archer?"
"A piece of his own medicine. Before they get to the trap you will show him how an arrow feels."
"And if he doesn't die?"
"Oh he will." He said holding up and arrow that splits into three at the end with three blades.
"The triple blade? It needs a special bow!" Garon then held up a bow.
"This?"
"The sacred bow!"
"Yes."
"When do I go?"
"When they land" Lady Faron took the bow and arrow got in easy run, walk, and climb clothing and left.
"We are landing now!"
"Okay."
"This will be a little scary for first time flyers!" The creature was pointing diagonal towards the ground as if it was falling.
"Quiry! Is the landing always like this?"
"Yes! Hold on tight!"
"I don't think I can hold on any tighter!" They landed shortly.
Lady Faron was stalking them. She readied the bow and arrow. She waited till the right moment and then she shot. There was a whiz. It hit Quiry in the chest.
"Quiry!" Kay ran and kneeled to his body.
"Kay?" He said in a whisper.
"Quiry are you alright?"
"Take care of the eggs." He reached and touched her.
"How?"
"I just gave you enough of my power to control the creatures and protect them."
"Quiry?" She put her hand where his heart is.
"Kay?" Jarith asked wanting to know if he is okay.
"He is gone." They walked away knowing it was there fault. They let Quiry come on a dangerous quest and he got killed helping them.
"Come on Kay, we might as well continue this quest or we will have just wasted a life."
"I guess your right. I promised to protect the eggs and creatures, Will you help me with that promise?"
"Yes Kay, I will."
"Thanks, he gave me some power for it."
"Let's go." They started walking the direction the hippogriff was flying before. Oddly there were lots of thorny bushes, usually there were just trees and short bushes. Kay cut her arm she and Jarith stopped. She put her hand on her cut and looked at it, her hand started glowing. Jarith and Kay looked at it, Kay lifted her hand and saw a light coming out of it, shining out like a flashlight. She aimed the light at her cut and then the cut disappeared.
"Wow."
"Was that-"
"Inner power?"
"Yeah. I HAVE INNER POWER!" A squirrel jumped in Jarith's backpack and took a marble.
"Hey come back here! That's mine!" He started chasing the squirrel. He touched the squirrel's head then the squirrel turned around and gave back the marble.
"Jarith."
"Was that-"
"Inner power?"
"Yeah. YES! I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WITHOUT INNER POWER!"
"We both have it! I have healing."
"And I have manipulating!"
"Jarith. Look at that."
"That's-"
"Outer power. No we should not take it. We should leave it for the one who really doesn't have inner power."
"Your right Kay. Let's go home."
"Not so fast!" A girl said.
"Who are you?"
"Lady Faron. And you are coming with me." She turned into tiger that was her inner power.
"We are not." Lady Faron came at them. She hit Kay against a tree. Jarith manipulated her. Lady Faron past out.
"Come on Jarith let's find an egg. Quiry gave me a map of where every egg is, let's find the closest one." They grabbed there stuff and left. Lady Faron woke and returned to Garon's giant home.
"You failed me."
"I did not. They found inner power."
"You still failed me! I am banishing you from this place until you bring me what I want."
"You won't."
"I will and I am! Now leave!"
"Fine. I don't need you, your food, your hospitality, your house, or any of your stuff!"
"Leave!" She Walked out of Garon's house and went to the jungle to live. Garon plans to get them himself now.
"Where is this egg?"
"I don't know Jarith. It is hidden in a log."
"There are lots of logs here though!"
"That is all it says!"
"Then start looking." They started looking in each log. Then someone grabbed Kay. Then grabbed Jarith. It was Garon. He took them to his large home.
"Kay is your name. Am I right?"
"Maybe."
"Well Kay. I am going to manipulate you."
"To do what."
"To be a villain."
"Wha-" He reached his hand and touched her. She passed out. Her hair turned white, her skin turned blue, her lips turned light blue and her eyes turned black, white, and tan. She was now possessed. She would look like this until she was turned back to normal. Then she woke.
"Hello Kayu."
"Hello Master Garon."
"Let's leave the prisoner Jarith. And just call me Garon. Understand Kayu?"
"Yes Garon."
"Come on."
"Yes." Then they left. They went to talk about there plan. They brought in Jarith, he was in chains. There were going to tell him the plan too.
"We will kill Jarith and you will take his power as outer power Kayu. But if there is trouble then hook this orb on this orb and squeeze." He was holding an orb you would find in one of the eggs, it had power in it.
"What happens when you squeeze it?"
"It will work like a bomb, everything will be destroyed in its path but me and Kayu. When you hook the magic orb to it the magic orb will disappear, but it will still work as a bomb. Kayu!"
"Yes?"
"Take the prisoner to the cell."
"Alright." She took Jarith to the cells and put him in one.
"You know, you don't have to listen to him, you can listen to something or one else."
"What exactly did you have in mind?" He reached over through the bars and grabbed something.
"That's for you to figure out."
"Good bye." She left not noticing what Jarith grabbed.
"Yes I got it!" Jarith said to himself.
"Kayu."
"Yes?"
"When do you want to kill the prisoner and get outer power?"
"One hour."
"That soon?"
"Yes."
"Whatever you say."
"Are you questioning me?"
"Not at all. I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon. How should he die?"
"By a crocodile pit."
"Then we can do it right now if you want."
"Yes."
"Go get the prisoner." She went to go get Jarith.
"Come on."
"What is going on?"
"Time to die."
"You could have at least lied."
"Come on!" She took him out of the cell. She lead him though doors and halls, and finally reached the pit.
"Now what?"
"Time for you to walk in the pit."
"Oh goodie." She was behind him with her hands on his shoulders making sure he doesn't get away. They went inch by inch to the pit. Then she let go. He was at the edge, he looked down as a rock from the edge fell in and all the crocodiles went after it. Then he looked up at the wall. Lady Faron broke through it. She cut Jarith's chains with long swords. They were ready to battle. But then from the wall at Jarith's right Quiry broke though and joined the battle. Three against two.
"Quiry! How did you survive?"
"Lady Faron shot me then saved me."
"Let's battle!" Jarith shouted. They all ran at each other ready for the fight. Jarith stopped, he felt something hit his ankle. There were manipulated mice hitting him with bark, he raised his eyebrow and ran back into the battle. Quiry and Lady Faron were on Garon. Garon tossed the bomb to Kay. She squeezed it and it made a popping noise. Nothing happened. Then Jarith whistled. Kay looked and saw he had the magic orb that goes to the bomb in his hand. She came running at him. He dodged her but touched her and used his inner power to make her back to normal. They stopped fighting they would just leave Garon.
"It is too late!"
"How is that?"
"The world with surrender to me, one thing I already caused is now no baby can be born."
"We are leaving. If you say another word you will be in that pit." They all left worried it might be too late. But they can't kill him or it might remain like that. Kay gave back the power Quiry gave her, and they all went there separate places. Kay and Jarith went back home and would say hi to Jade after Kay said hi to her dad. She went home to find a note from the mayor. Her father had died of an illness. She did not really know him that much though. He was always gone and busy. She was still sad though, tears came to her eyes. She cried but then remembered Jarith was waiting out side of Jade's house. She wiped away her tears because she does not like people knowing when she cried. She quickly ran to meet with Jarith outside of Jade's house and went in.
"Who's there?"
"It is me and Jarith." They both gave her a hug. She was still pregnant, at times Jade thought the baby was not going to come. The baby was overdue. But then she was in agony.
"Jade are you okay?"
"I think the baby is coming."
"Uh oh, I will wait outside."
"Jarith, Grab some rags, water, and a blanket."
"Alright!" He grabbed the items and gave them to Kay. He waited outside and heard a cry, Kay came out with a baby wrapped in a blanket. Jade came out and held her baby. They looked up at the stars.
A new hope.
Part two
"Good morning Jade."
"Good morning Kay, guess who is coming today."
"Who?"
"Galleria, she is with her aunt and uncle. She is going to live with them a few months after she visits with me, they want time with her."
"Oh cool."
"Her ninth Birthday is today."
"When?"
"July, she is a Leo. Remember?"
"Oh yeah."
"Where will she be for her Birthday?"
"Here. Would you help me decorate and get ready?"
"Sure!"
"Here is a pump and some balloons, fill them up."
"Right away."
"I will start a cake."
"Alright."
"What is the occasion?"
"Galleria is coming Jarith."
"Okay, so what is the occasion?"
"Her ninth Birthday."
"Oh."
"Yeah," Kay said as a balloon started floating. She took the balloon off and tied the end so the air would not escape. Then she tied a long piece of ribbon to hold on to the balloon.
"The cake is ready for decorating! Who wants to decorate it?"
"Hey Jade, you help Kay. I will do the cake, I know just what to put on it."
"Okay, all the supplies for it is next to the cake."
"Good." Jarith went to the kitchen and started decorating.
"I will finish the balloons Kay. Go put up the Happy Birthday banner!"
"Yes Jade!" She went and hung the banner in the entrance of the living room.
"Finished the cake!"
"Cover it up!"
"Alright!" He put a large bowl upside down on the round cake to cover it up.
"Are you done Kay?"
"Yep!"
"Did you cover up the cake Jarith?"
"I did!"
"Great! They she will be here any minute!"
"Okay great!" Then they herd a carriage. The carriage noise stopped then started again heading away. They heard foot steps at the door then Jade opened it. A short little girl stood there holding luggage.
"Hello Galleria!"
"Hello Aunt Kay, hello Uncle Jarith." Kay and Jarith were not really her aunt and uncle, they were not even married but they were very close friends.
"Hello dear."
"Hello mom." Jade and Galleria hugged each other. Then she saw the banner.
"Happy birthday Galleria!" They all shouted before she could say anything. Jarith brought out the cake and put it on the living room table. Jarith removed the bowl covering it.
"Jarith! It is… I don't know how to say it." The picture Jarith put on the cake was midnight with him, Kay, jade, and galleria as a baby. It was the moment Galleria was born.
"Is that what you told me about mom? How I was born."
"Yes it is."
"Thank you Jarith." Galleria said with a shy smile. She didn't know Kay or Jarith that well.
"Now for the presents!" Jarith shouted eagerly. Galleria opened the present from Jarith and there was an egg.
"What's this?"
"An egg, it will hatch soon."
"What type of egg?"
"What type do you want?"
"What do you mean?"
"Dragon, hippogriff, griffin, what?"
"Hippogriff would be cool but they don't exist." Quiry had given Jarith an egg and a little power to make it hatch. Jarith touched his finger to it and a hippogriff hatched.
"Jarith?"
"Quiry gave it to me."
"Thanks Jarith! It is so cute!"
"It will grow slowly on its own, but this one is a rare one. It will not grow super big."
"Cool!"
"That reminds me. Quiry should be here any minute." There was a knock at the door, Jarith answered it.
"Hey Jarith!"
"Hi Quiry! Hi Lady Faron!"
"Hello Jarith!"
"I thought you two were coming separate."
"Shortly after the big battle me and Quiry well…"
"We got married."
"Great! Galleria just opened an egg."
"What kind?"
"Hippogriff!"
"Cool."
"Come sit with us while she opens another."
"Hey Galleria,"
"Yes Kay?"
"I have a gift for you but it is not very physical."
"Okay." Kay touched her and then released her hand.
"Now you have some healing power, it will come in handy."
"Thanks Kay! Sorry I am taking away from your power."
"Your not, it was a small but powerful dose. It will never end, you will always have healing power."
"Cool! Thanks!"
"But it takes time to master. Understand?"
"Yes Kay. Thanks."
"Your welcome." Quiry set a wrapped bundle down by the other presents. Galleria grabbed the bundle and opened it. It was a small hand carved bow with hand made arrows. The arrows end was feathers and the other end was egg shells.
"Thanks Quiry!"
"It has egg shells as the point. It is the toughest and best thing there is for an arrow tip."
"Thank you Quiry." Lady Faron already set down a bundle. Galleria opened Faron's bundle. It was a tiger stuffed animal.
"It has tiger eye stones for its eyes."
"Thanks Faron." There was only one more wrapped bundle. It was from her mom Jade. She opened it. There was a gold locket. It had silver roses on it.
"Your father made it himself and gave it to me. So I thought it was time to give it to you."
"Thanks Mom."
"Who wants to go for a hike in the woods with me?"
"I would Quiry."
"Okay, c'mon Kay."
"We will be back in time for the piñatas."
"Okay! See you then." Kay and Quiry left. They walked though the forest and stopped at a clearing and sat on a rock.
"So how did you and Faron get together?"
"After the big journey I and Faron had no place to go. I lived in a tree house and she lived in a house which she got banished from."
"Then what?"
To be continued
In the very first paragraph, you said a lot of 'her' and 'she'. It got really repeditive.
I'm sorry to say that I didn't read the entire thing.
Another thing that could help you a lot is read. Take a book that you thought was increadibly well written, and study it! Look at what the writer did, as opposed to what happened. How much description vs. dialogue. What did the writer do that made you immediately love the story?
I'm sure somebody will be here soon to go more in depth with this story, but if you would like me to do a full on reveiw, with examples from your story, just tell me, and I'll do that. Okay!
