Ace of Threes

(splits in this story will be a bit weird; I didn't arrange it with posting in mind, so I'm just dividing it however I think works.)



Ace of Threes

Some say that Fate governs our lives. Others say that it’s God. I don’t believe in either. Maybe it would be easier if I did. I could use some devout belief to give me a direction, a narrower scope in which to base myself.

I know there are a lot of people out there who wouldn’t thank me for that statement; maybe it’s a little cynical, but I’ve found that when a person believes in one thing devoutly, their minds don’t have to and don’t want to consider all the other angles, all the circumstances, and all the what-ifs.

Ever notice how the number three seems to show up everywhere? Three Fates- Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos; three aspects of the holy Trinity- God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost; three Sorrows- Starvation, Sickness, and Slaughter. Three people were in the room. There were three chances to end it. Three tries. Three strikes.

Three seconds.

I should go.

-Kath

She stood and walked away from her desk, then walked back to close the journal in its drawer. She didn’t bother locking it; no one went into her room for anything since it happened. She left her room, closing the door behind her, and went up the steps to plunk herself down on the couch beside her dog, picking up the controller to the Playstation 2 and stretching out a leg to push the power button with the tip of her toe. Once immersed in the game, she slowly relaxed, losing what she’d been thinking about earlier to lame special effects and an over-dramatized storyline.

The phone rang; pausing the game, she reached around behind herself with her left hand and felt for the phone, glancing at the number on the screen before answering it with a short, “’Sup?”

“Hey Kath, you doing anything?” the voice of one of her two best friends asked.

“Nope.” She glanced at the TV screen. “Just playing a game.”

“Cool. Mind if I come over? I’ll run to the store and get some ice cream. What kind you want?”

Kath grinned. “Anything with chocolate, Sil, you know that. Hey, grab some mountain dew while you’re there, I’ll pay you back.”

“No problem. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Cool. Later.”

“Bye.”

She reached back and hung the phone up, kicking open the movie cabinet with her outstretched toe to glance over them, thinking briefly about which one they should watch. She shrugged and went back to her game; her friend could pick.

She arrived at the promised fifteen minutes, heralded by the excited barking of the dog, and let herself in to put the bags on the table before flopping down on the other couch.

“What, you’re not gonna get me a dew?” Kath asked with mock indignation.

Sil tossed a cushion at her. “Get it yourself. I wanna pick a movie.”

Kath sighed dramatically and got up, grabbing two sodas, one of which she handed to Sil and the other of which she popped open with a satisfying fizz. “Find anything?” she asked, looking over her friend’s shoulder from her vantage point back on the couch, controller in hand.

“You have too many movies,” Sil grumbled. “And way too many that I haven’t seen.”

“Well, keep looking then, so I can find a save point.”

Sil drew back from the cabinet and asked, “Want some ice cream while I look?”

“Love it.”

She went to the table and drew out the pints of Ben & Jerry’s she’d bought and a couple of spoons, lobbing one of the pints toward her friend. “Catch.”

Alarmed, Kath looked over and shot her right hand out to catch it, hiding a wince when the extra weight connected; she set it quickly down on the table and put her hand back on the controller to hide her actions, but Sil knew her friend too well.

“I saw that,” she said quietly. “Is it hurting again?”

Kath’s gaze remained fixed on the screen. “…A little,” she muttered finally. “It usually does after I write for a long time, and if I try to catch with that arm.”

Sil sat down on the other couch again, looking at the scar which ran across her friend’s shoulder.

“It just pulls, that’s all,” Kath said, reaching her other hand across to pass her fingers over it.

Sil went silent, staring at the ground, then suddenly gave a grim chuckle and recited, “‘Three things never anger /or you’ll not live for long, /a wolf with cubs, /a man with power, /and a woman’s sense of wrong.’ …Mercedes Lackey; Threes. I’d like to carve it on his tombstone.”

Kath chuckled bitterly. “Thanks, Sil.”

“Always.”

Wow...this was really well written. I liked it a lot! You have some very clever, deep sentences in there.

I like how you hint subtly that some tragedy has happened, to her, to her friend; yet you don't info dump by giving all the details in the first post.

One sentence:

She arrived almost right at fifteen minutes, heralded by the excited barking of the dog, and let herself in to put the bags on the table before flopping down on the other couch.

'She arrived almost right at fifteen minutes,' doesn't sound quite right.
Otherwise, I couldn't really see a lot of errors. Great work, here!

Yours I remain,

sworddance wrote: She arrived almost right at fifteen minutes, heralded by the excited barking of the dog, and let herself in to put the bags on the table before flopping down on the other couch.

I'm going to have to echo sokool15 here. She arrived almost right at fifteen minutes, doesn't sound right. Maybe - She arrived exactly fifteen minutes later, or - She arrived about fifteen minutes later.

Apart from that it's a really good story. I'm interested and want to find out how Kath got that scar.

~ Shadowsun

Hmmm... I see what you mean about fifteen minutes thing. The reason I phrased it the way I did was because if I said she arrived in fifteen minutes, it would be repetitive from above where she'd said she'd be there in fifteen; the way I had it, the repetition is obviously deliberate, so we know she was true to her word. So perhaps....

eh, I changed it. I think this works better now; what do you guys think?

thanks so much for the help ^.^

Hi sworddance. I like the characterization in this piece, and that section in the beginning (was that a letter?) was very well done. I have only one suggestion. This chapter would be infinitely more exciting/suspenseful if Kath's friend were coming over for some important reason other than just to come over, ie. she has a relationship problem, she needs to talk about "something important", etc. That adds some intrigue behind the scene and we can find something to latch onto. I really do like some of your characterization, we just need to have a reason why we should care. Good luck on this piece.

Yes, that's much better. Thank you.

And I would agree with Trident, about how Kath's friend should have a reason for coming over...except for this: there is already an undercurrent of mystery and strangeness going on.

You should probably have something happen while Kath and her friend are hanging out, (so it wouldn't just be a random Scene From the Life of Kath) but it doesn't have to be a deliberate reason for coming over. If that makes any sense.

Anyway, G2G.
Yours I remain,

Thanks for the review, guys. Trident, a good suggestion, but I think it would detract from the original aim of the story, just be a distraction. Here's the next section; see if that helps the problem.
And don't worry, sokool, something does happen

***
Kath reached behind herself and felt for the phone again. “Hey, I’m calling Vivi. Las tres amigas are missing their third part; let’s see if her dad will run her over here.”

“If not, I’ll go get her.”

“Cool. But Sil?” She paused, finger over the call button. “Don’t say anything about it hurting… I don’t want her to know.”

“I understand.”

Vivi believes in God, and Jesus as her savior. I don’t know what she thinks He’ll do with me, but I haven’t asked. I know what most people would say, and maybe that’s why I can’t wrap my mind around religion, much less Christianity. I can’t say I don’t believe it because I think I deserve more than that, because I can’t honestly say if I do. It’s their God, so the question of whether or not I’d deserve it in His eyes is up to them, isn’t it?
-Kath

In the silence that followed, Kath raised her soda to her lips to drink, the screen before her frozen in place as her right thumb tapped the pause button yet again.

“You never told me how many times he… got you, for lack of better term,” Sil said, as lightly as possible.

The can of soda was lowered down. “Three,” Kath said softly. “The other two were nothing, though. You can barely see them.” Her fingers flicked toward her thigh and across her rib cage briefly, before dropping. “They don’t hurt me. They were just… scratches, I guess.”

“And you…?”

“Three also.” She took a drink, glancing at Sil under lowered lids. “All at the same time, just to incapacitate him so we could get away, but… I thought Vivi would have told you all this, anyway, Sil.”

Sil shrugged. “She did, but… you know Vivi. She didn’t remember all the details, it was too fuzzy.”

Kath smiled faintly. “I’m not surprised. She was so scared… She’d have wanted to block that memory, even if her mind hadn’t been so frozen as it was in fright.”

“Yeah, Vivi was… Well, she’s alright now, at least. She could have been a lot worse off, if she hadn’t seen so long ago how badly that relationship was going.”

“It was foolish and naïve to begin with,” Kath muttered.

“You know I think the same, Kath. She was lucky overall, I suppose, that you happened to walk over there with her. Maybe it was fate. If it had been just the two of them instead of the three of you…”

“The story would have been a lot different, and I don’t know how it would have gone at all. To be honest, I don’t want to think about it.”

Hmm...I don't know if I agree, her friend doesn't neccesarily need a reason to go over...I mean, friends do that...but I guess reason makes people feel better. It seemed okay to me.

Anyays, I love the stroy, I'll admit, the letter transition to the first paragraph of story reminded me of POD, which is okay, I don't mind. Anyways, yeah, it has a hint of mystery, and what she wrote in her journal was extremely well written.

Suggestions:
WRITE MORE!

PM me when you post the next section, I would love to read it! =D

-JC

Yeah, Vivi was….

You should take out the period at the end of the ...(still don't know what it's called...anyone wanna fill me in?) It's just a weird rule thing. Either that you accidently added on an extra period to it...which should be fixed all the same.

Anyways, (sorry, I just read that section now...hehe) another good section, it kinda bugs me that I don't know what's going on, yet at the same time it makes me want to read through it even faster! So, I like your pace and everything.

Suggestions:

Your dialogue was a little stressed...I guess would be the word.

Also, with the dialogue it seemed like they were both telling a story they already knew to each other. Which is weird. You could change it so that one of them doens't want to talk about it, and you can draw out the suspence even futher!

Another brillient peice, and this is only the second one! Very very promising story, I like what you're doing with the whole number three thing. Keep it up!

(and sorry I didn't put my two comments together, I posted the first, and then read your last comment...bad move for me!)

-JC

Thanks for the tip on the "....' thing, JC. I didn't notice that before; it's fine in my word doc, cuz it indicates both a trail-off and the end of the sentence, but in the post it just looked bloody stupid.
Can you explain what you meant when you said the dialogue was stressed? Maybe that's something I can fix. If you have any suggestions, post it for me, would you?
The one part I disagreed with is making it so one doesn't want to talk about it. They do both know the story, but Sil's asking for details; the two are old friends, and comfortable with each other, so I don't know.... I'll mull it over, I think. It's an interesting thought. Thanks
Oh, and it's called an ellipses. Not to be confused with ellipsis, which is the geometry term.
heheheheh does that help?

ok, so here's the penultimate section- I think. This is a rather short story, but there will be a second, which I'm currently struggling with, so anything you can tell me with this one will help in the smoothening of the second.

Thanks, everyone!

Fate. The three Fates. They are Clotho, who sings of what once was and who spins the thread of life; Lachesis, who sings of what is and weaves the thread into the tapestry; and Atropos, who sings of what has not yet come and cuts the thread of life where it must end. Which of the Fates might have held the dice when I walked to Vivi’s house with her that day?

Or perhaps it was her three, the Holy Trinity, watching over one of His daughters. Personally, I don’t like the idea of either, interfering that way. I’d like to keep the belief that it was sheer chance; I won’t go so far as to say luck, considering the outcome, but luck for Vivi in the long run, I suppose.
-Kath

Kath sat up, leaning over to hit the power button of the Playstation, saying as she did so, “Well… those threes again.”

“What?” Sil asked, confused.

“Three. The number three. It comes up so much. You have to wonder why.”

Sil nodded thoughtfully. “In religion, and in mythology especially.”

“The three Sorrows.”

“Three Fates.”

Kath glanced down at herself. “Ironic that three would also be the divine number, I suppose.”

“Yeah,” Sil said pensively. “Everything was in threes that day, wasn’t it?”

“All the way down to the last three seconds it took. Do you have a movie?” she asked abruptly.

Sil shrugged. “Three strikes until you’re out, I guess. Yeah, sure. Let’s watch this one.” She handed it to Kath, who stuck the DVD in the player and sat back.

Fate and God are concepts subjected to religious affiliation, but the Sorrows are undeniably everywhere. To deny that sickness, starvation, and slaughter even exist would take a great foolishness, or perhaps a greatly twisted leap of faith.

Starvation, Sickness and Slaughter- sometimes the mangy cur, the bubonic rat, and the mocking hyena- have appeared across many cultures, even so far as to make their way into traditional Christian mythology. There they are three of the horsemen of the apocalypse, which shall herald the coming of the end of our world as we know it.

From what I see, the Sorrows are already here, but the world has yet to end.
-Kath

“Three strikes, you’re out?” Kath said. “Wish someone had told him that before he threatened her.”

“I wish he’d read Threes,” Sil said drolly. “A woman’s sense of wrong was his downfall in the end, even if that wasn’t your intent.”

“In the most literal sense of it all, Sil, it was his downfall, and it was three strikes.”

Slaughter, to me, is the most terrible of the Sorrows. Sickness we all experience, in its most minor form, at least. No one lives their lives completely untouched by Sickness in some form. Starvation is everywhere; it is the slow killer, but it can be overcome with help.

But Slaughter, that is a conscious choice. People fall sick, or are forced into starvation or famine, but Slaughter cannot occur without the choice of a being. Man chooses to harm man, and that is the most terrible of all the sorrows of the world.
-Kath

Did you mean this was the end? Because if so it was rather abrupt...and made me feel stupid because I didn't quite get it. Sometimes you have to just slap the reader in the face with info for them to understand, especially at the end.

What I meant by stressed was, awkward. Almost-and I said this-like they were telling a story to each other. I know you disagree with me on that point, but it just seems odd, even if they are good friends. Like meaningful gossip. Or even the basic rule of writing, show don't tell. I'm not saying you have to change it, but stories through dialogue seem-and please don't be offended- almost cheesy, even when written amazingly, as you did. That's what I meant by stressed. You can keep it the way it is, and a lot of people will think differently than me, and love the way it's told, which makes a writers job hard. Just what kind of audience are you aiming for, it's hard to intrigue everyone. Anyways, like I said, if it has to stay that way, or if it makes more sense, keep it the way it is, I was just throwing my opinion out there.

On a much lighter note, I continue to love it. The italicized portions are really well written, and not to mention well researched. I hate reading inaccurate info, so it made me smile that you researched...or just had prior knowledge. So yes, like I said, I still don't know if this is the end or not, but the last of my thoughts depends on that. So, I'll read the next part if you'd like, just tell me when you post it.

And once again, terrific job.

-JC

Oh sorry, no that wasn't the end. "penultimate"= second to last
thanks for the clarification. I get what you mean now; not sure if I want to do anything about that or not. I'll post the next section later, but I just wanted to let you know that it wasn't the last, but the second to last.
heheheh sorry about the confusion.

Tis okay, I was just making sure that I understood you. I like your icon by the way =D

PM me when you post the next section!

-JC

Thanks! My chihuahua- I had a picture on my cpu and decided on a whim that she'd make a cute avatar. Anyway, here's the last section; I've looked it over a few times and finally judged it to be as good as I can get it without help.

______________


“Gods bless surround-sound,” Sil said whimsically, indicating the speaker behind her head from which came the rising sound of the DVD’s initiation.

“We’d enjoy it more if you’d close your flapping gob,” Kath observed dryly.

“Ouch. That hurts, mon amie,” Sil drawled. “It really does.”

“Don’t I wish,” Kath muttered, and dug a spoon into her ice cream; the noise from the speakers lulled in the transition from preview to preview, creating a temporary rift of silence broken by one noise- the door, opening and closing.

The dog scrambled up from the couch and began barking furiously as the two girls looked at each other hopelessly.

“Probably just my brother,” Kath sighed. “Hang on, I’ll shut her up.” She clicked the pause button on the remote, silencing the speakers, then jumped up and strode to the top of the stairs, grabbing the dog by the collar to drag her down and find out who was on the steps.

She stopped dead, eyes locked with the disheveled young woman staring up at her from the stairs.

She did not know this woman.

“Who’s this?” Sil murmured at her ear.

Kath hadn’t noticed her approach. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t-” Sil hissed, but Kath interrupted her.

“Who are you?” she asked in a neutral voice, loud enough to be heard over the dog’s barking.

“Jessica,” the other girl said. “Are you Katherine Devon?”

“What do you want?” Kath asked, not answering.

“You know what I want.” Her gaze switched to Sil, eyes sparking with some insane rage. “Vivian?”

“No,” Sil answered calmly enough. “I’m not.”

“Where is she?” the girl demanded.

“Not here,” Kath said sharply, then her mind suddenly put it together. “You’re the girl he cheated with, aren’t you?”

Her eyes blazed. “I cared about him, Devon, and you took him from me.” She began advancing up the stairs, and Kath loosened her grip on the dog, who was growling at the newcomer with menacing teeth bared.

“I will release this dog, Jessica,” Kath said warningly. “Stay where you’re at. Sil,” she said in a lower voice, “Cell phone. 911. Quickly.”

The girl was still advancing up the stairs, and Kath slowly began to back away, dragging the dog with her. She could see the hand held behind the girl’s back, and the tip of a knife blade protruding on the other side, poorly hidden. As the girl came closer, a distinct scent came wafting up the stairs before her, and Kath slowly shifted backward.

“You’ve been drinking, Jessica.”

“I know I have,” the girl snarled. “I had to, so I could come here to do this.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

“You killed him.”

“I didn’t mean to. He would have hurt or killed both of us if I hadn’t done something, Jessica.” Kath continued to back away, until she had entered the living room enough to gesture that Sil move out of sight to make the call. “He tried to grab her, pull her into the other room so he could “talk” to her, without my being there to help her stand her ground, but I wouldn’t let him touch her.” She kept talking carefully, buying time, keeping the mad woman’s attention away from Sil and on herself. “He got angry and kept coming, tried to force me aside, but she kept moving away and I kept staying in the way. Then he pulled a knife and tried to hurt me, to kill me, possibly, because I wouldn’t move. He left me scars, Jessica, and all the while he was trying to do the same to Vivi.”

“But you killed him,” she insisted, coming up the last step and drawing her blade from behind her. “You killed him, and he was mine.”

“I didn’t mean to, Jessica. He was so much bigger than me, easily twice my weight and so much more my strength, and I had to do what I could. So once it stuck in my shoulder I took it out and kicked, and slashed, just once, and when he fell we ran. I didn’t stop to look back, Jessica, we only wanted to escape, and when we got out of her house I called the police. They’re the ones who went back to get him and found he had bled out, because I cut deep in his neck and nicked the jugular.”

“And you killed him, and they let you get away with it,” she growled, and Kath found she was almost up against the wall.

“Stop, Jessica,” she said again. “It was self-defense, and defense of a friend. Vivi was so frightened, he wasn’t who he used to be and he was going crazy. He was going to hurt someone, just like you are now, and it wasn’t right and I had to stop it.” Her eye caught Sil’s, and she read clearly the message there. They’re on their way; don’t make her angry.

“Jessica,” Kath began again, softly, “Please put the knife down. It isn’t worth the murder.”

“You called it defense. I’m defending him.”

“This would not be defense, Jessica, it would be revenge, and it isn’t worth it. You’ll lose the rest of your life, and for what?”

Jessica was too close now, and Kath’s eyes glanced rapidly at Sil, warning her away. Kath stepped back again, onto the couch, the mantle at her back, as the mad girl came closer and closer, too close, knife readied in hand. Kath kept hold of her dog’s collar, left arm straining to keep her back, not wanting to let her go unless she had to.

“Jessica, please,” she said in a low voice, heart pounding. “I don’t want to do this again.”

“But I do,” she said. “It took me long enough to track you down, and I’m not letting you get away now, you or Vivian. I know you’re her!” she shrieked, whirling on Sil but keeping her blade leveled at Kath. “You say you’re not, but I know you are. Who else would you be, here with her?”

Kath reacted, whipping her right arm behind herself and drawing her father’s sword from its bracket over the mantle, where it had hung since he retired as a Marine Corp captain. Holding it between herself and the girl, she sidestepped slowly until she was balanced as well as she could be.

“Jessica,” she said quietly, “My blade has a longer reach than yours, and I’m higher up than you. And you’re drunk. Your coordination is next to nothing. Now please, don’t try anything. Just put it down.”

Then there’s Death. Death is the fourth horseman, who follows the three Sorrows but isn’t considered one of them. Death is the end result of each of the Sorrows, when they are allowed to grow.

I guess it was the three strikes and out concept. Maybe it was some sort of tarot ace draw, in a deck of threes. And maybe it was fate, or God, or whomever, but all I know is that there were far too many threes in play, and in spite of it all they each led to the same conclusion- the ace draw that ends the game.
-Kath


_________________________

Ok, so, here are some questions.
1) what did you feel/think at the ending?
2) what do you think happened? No wrong answer here, don't worry.
3) what do you think of the overall organization of the piece? Any way it could be done better, or do you think it's ok the way it is?

Um, so, yeah. If you guys could give me feedback and let me know what you think of it overall, and give me your thoughts on the questions I asked, I'd appreciate it.
Thanks so much

~sworddance

indicating the speaker behind her head from which came the rising sound of the DVD’s initiation.

It's a little wordy for such a normal sentence.

mon ami

Mon amie. With an e. Kath is female =D. French grammer, I just as picky with it as with english. hehe.

“What do you want?” Kath said,

I think you mean Kath asked. you cant really say a question.

1) I think/feel that this was probably the best section yet. It described everything that happened in a much more natural and flowing way, which made the end result that much better.

2) My guess would be, Kath had to kill Jessica.

3) Organization- Look at all of my crit's, there should be any problems I found with organization. I can't think of any off the top of my head at this moment.

Well... I guess I don't have much more to say about it, seeing as the questions just about took care of it =D

hehe, keep up the good work!

-JC