Who We Are

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Gender Male
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I lose myself
to those I hate.
Lost in the endless shadow.
I stretch and dig to deep.
who am I?

Those who know don't answer,
others do not care.
I'm lost, confused, helpless.
No where to run and hide.
Where am I?

Within the darkness
I find warmth.
Soothing, relaxing,
fear starts to fade.
What is it?

Bright and covering,
you consume me.
You return something,
something I lost.
How did you get here?

You answer,
it's as if i knew.
What i lost is clear,
but I don't understand.
Why is thins happening?

Now I know
who you are.
The shadow lifts,
light returns.
When did i forget.

I'm at peace
cause I found you.
I had forgotten,
but now I know'
I wont forget again.

I am light,
I am home,
It is salvation,
you came through my heart,
you heard me cry,
here to help,
you are me.
Last edited by piepiemann22 on Thu Sep 13, 2007 1:51 am, edited 2 times in total.
I will always fight back, no matter what.




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 32
I really like your poem. It strives to answer questions that many of us find within ourselves at one time or another in our lives. It takes us through the journey to healing ourselves when someone has hurt us and realizing where the questions came from. My only issue is the flow at the beginning. As you read, you forget about it, but I would suggest improving the rhythm (for example, in line 7 you could say "do not" instead of "don't")

That said, a few spelling errors:
Line 4: 'to' should be 'too'
Line 25: thins-->this
Line 35: wont-->won't
There are things with capitalization too in a few places, but I wouldn't worry too much about those.
Problems are like mould; if not stopped,they grow and spread until even the air is filled with the poison of their spores.



flamin hot cool ranch doritos say a lot about the duality of man
— dissonance