Bloodlust: Prologue

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Prologue


She sat on the dock, alone. 'Alone' was the very word she had hoped wouldn't come up. Her long golden hair and sapphire-blue eyes reflected the moonlight as the full moon moved into the sky. Jake had promised he was never going to leave her sitting somewhere alone ever again, but here she sat.

Taya had noticed Jake had been acting weird ever since he disappeared during the Fall Festival. He turned up at her house almost six hours later with a hicky and a headache.

Taya sighed and stood up, looking out across the waters of Lake Charleston. He obviously wasn't going to show. She turned and walked to the end of the dock, the twilight cast milky white light on everything around Taya. The pitch-black forest stood ominously further down the trail. Taya had to get through the forest to get back to her car and she had really hoped to walk back through with Jake as an escort.

She entered the forest and walked slowly while her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She could just barely see the trail as she made her way to the first lamp of three. It would be about half a mile before she could get to the next one.

Taya was right underneath the lamp when she heard something behind her. She turned and nearly screamed when she saw Jake standing just beyond the lamplight. His hair hung to right above his chin and it shown light brown in the white light from the lamp.

“Oh, my God! You nearly scared me to death!” Taya laughed lightly. “Where have you been? You promised –”

“I’m sorry, something came up.” Jake spoke nervously. Taya saw he was lying in his hazel eyes.

“You’re lying. I know you are.” Taya looked at him, concern in her voice. “What’s wrong? You’ve been different since last week at the festival. Talk to me.”

Taya tried to get him to look her in the face, with no avail. He seemed paler than usual.

“Jake, please.” Taya touched his cheek. He finally looked at her. He leaned toward her and kissed her gently on the lips.

“I love you.” He whispered holding her close. He suddenly darted into the darkness leaving Taya alone once more.
Last edited by EmiSukotto16 on Mon Apr 30, 2007 11:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Llama 1:"Shh! Do you hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness."
Llama 2:"That's the sound of people drowning, Carl!"
Llama 1:"That is what forgiveness sounds like; screaming and then silence."




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:D

I really liked your beginning sentences.

Taya saw he was lying in his hazel eyes.

"You're lying. I know you are."


I might be getting picky on this but I think its a bit repetitive. Maybe say 'Taya saw he wasn't telling the truth' or "That's not true. I know it's not."

Also I think 'Taya saw he was lying in his hazel eyes.' sounds funny.

Overall good prologue.
If you have to ask me why I write, you would never understand...



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