Diamonds of the Dawn

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Diamonds of the Dawn

I suppose there are quite a few,
Poems about the morning dew.
On leaves, on flowers, on blades of grass,
A drop of water, a glittering mass.

To be cherished by an earnest eye;
A treasure to which all may come by.
You need no map, no compass rose,
You need no pass to see it up close.

More brilliant than any royal crown—
Like diamonds on a lush green gown.
This timeless jewel, it is not rare,
It needs no polish, no expert’s care.

From where they come, there is no mine;
They fall from somewhere far an’ divine.
Boundless beauty! So pure and clear!
You smile and say, ‘’Tis an angel’s tear!’

Like magic crystals, they fade away,
As soon as touched by Apollo’s ray.
Our Earth, the dewdrops skillfully adorn—
It’s Nature’s way of greeting the Morn.
Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.




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:jawdrop:
Brilliant! It had good rhyming, rhythm and everything... (why can't I be like that! :p )
The only thing that doesn't fit is the "compass rose/close" thing. If you say "Rose" and "close" aloud, they differ in a tiny sound, and it throws off the poem a bit. Though I'm not sure what you could put it to change it :l

~Sumi
ohmeohmy




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you really like my poem? thank you!

*bows deep* *grins*

you do have a point in the roae close; i'll try to figure it out!
Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.




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Good poem, I liked it!

This was great:
To be cherished by an earnest eye;
A treasure to which all may come by.

Good rhyming!!

This needs to be improved:
I suppose there are quite a few,
Poems about the morning dew.

For me it just didn't fit the style and didn't give the poem the justice that's needed to grab the readers attention.

Great work,
Alainna
xxxxxx
Sanity is for the unimaginative.

Got YWS?




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I agree with everyone else. The rhyming patterned worked pretty well throughout most of the poem. Sometimes it's fine to have corresponding rhyming lines off by a syllable and it can give the poem an interesting rhythm. I certainly agree that rose and close should really be replaced or changed, however.
I enjoyed this poem and thought it was very good!
Last edited by Shasta on Sun Apr 29, 2007 7:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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Thank ye all.

i'll work on those lines.
Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.




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How can you rhyme that well? And you can imagine the scene. i loved the lines; 'Boundless beauty! So pure and clear! You smile and say, ‘’Tis an angel’s tear!’ It works so well.
:twisted: Angel :twisted:
You forgot me again, ill just stay here to bleed and rot, kiss my corpse and tell them i died i full man, when i died but a child




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thank yee Angel.
Calvin : You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes : What mood is that?
Calvin : Last-minute panic.



You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.
— Stephen King