They were sitting on a bench. It wasn't as if they needed to, but it was comforting, in a strange way, to find something familiar in what was an utterly bizarre world. All around them this odd, twilit world spread out; flat and featureless. They sat in a kind of numb shock, staring at the floor, lost in reflection.
Rajiv hadn't thought much of the discoveries they had made. Now though, with nothing else to do, he found himself filled with a wild anger. He had been lied to, his whole life, misled into worshipping an indifferent being. As a small child, brimming with lively curiosity, his father had set him down to answer some of his questions. A large, serious man, his dark face had been unusually animate. He hadn't quite been able to answer his son's questions, so, laughingly, he said: "Rajiv, I don't have all the answers. They lie with God."
Rajiv's eyes sparkled. "What's God?"
"Who, is God, you mean. God created us all, son, everything in the world; you, me, the universe. It is to Him we return when we leave this life and it is Him we must trust and fear and love."
Rajiv tasted salt. He hadn't even realised that tears had began to roll down his face, plunging into his short beard. He stood up, unable to contain himself, pacing up and down. He wasn't the only one to have been deceived; what about all the millions who prayed constantly, all those who died horribly, who begged for succour, clinging doggedly to their faith.
"He has a lot to answer for," Rajiv mumbled, thunderous.
"That He does," Charles said, uncharacteristically serious. Rajiv stared at him, surprised. He hadn't said who 'He' was but the old man seemed to know all the same. Charles had obviously been reminiscing on the matter as well. He nodded, flashing a smile at his friend.
"Shall we go pay the old chap a visit then?" Rajiv said, doing a poor imitation of his friend.
Charles couldn't help but grin. "That we shall." He got up, stretching. "That is to say, if there is a He to visit," he continued.
Rajiv's jaw dropped. "But you just said--"
"That someone needs to be taken to task for this deplorable state of affairs. I never said anything about God dontcha know."
"But Fabio---"
"Is a hippy," Charles interrupted once more. "And one can never trust a hippy," he muttered darkly.
Rajiv couldn't believe what he was hearing. "And Lucifer? We met the devil for crying out loud!"
"Psh, we saw an emotional child, nothing more. The wager is still on."
At this declaration, there was a tremble. A hushed whispering, as of thousands of voices all murmuring softly.
Charles looked around. "Curious. What an odd effect."
"All the same, I don't think you should've have said that," Rajiv said. "In any case, we best be off."
Charles didn't say anything, but his face was troubled. They walked away from the bench, heading in the direction they had before they came across the bench. It was some time later, when they saw the hazy outline outline of a building. Excited, they quickened their step. It hadn't taken them long to realise that space and time were very different on this plane of existence. Something that seemed close could take hours to reach, and something far off could take only moments to appear in front of them. After a few moments only, they could see the building clearly.
Rajiv stopped, an action mirrored by Charles. Rajiv shook his head. He shouldn't have been surprised.
"I never, ever thought I'd be glad to see this place," Rajiv remarked, rueful.
Charles chuckled. "Dear boy, don't you realise what this means? I won't have to giver up tea after all!"
Smiling broadly, he walked into the Starbucks. With little other option, Rajiv followed. A bell jangled as they entered. Inside, the typical layout of the cafe spread was visible. The place was deserted.
"Hello?" Charles called out, head craning behind the counter. "Anyone here?"
"What's that? Someone there?" a voice called, preceding the sound of footsteps. The person, however, didn't arrive.
"Hello? We're out the front," Rajiv called.
"I'm right here, punk!" a belligerent voice said. As one, the two leaned over the counter and there, staring up at them, was perhaps the meanest looking midget Rajiv had ever seen. He was wearing blue work overalls.
"Oh dear. 'Fraid we didn't see you there old boy," Charles said cheerfully.
The heavyset little man scowled, thick eyebrows coming down to form an unbroken line of anger. "Whats that you say? Old boy, am I? Just cos I'm not tall enough, I can't be referred to as a man? You prejudiced pansy!"
Charles blinked. "No, no, you're quite mistaken. Its just an expression of mine," he amended hastily.
The angry dwarf didn't like that at all. He screamed loudly--which when done by most men is usually quite scary, but in this case was more comical then anything--and flourished a set of metal nun-chucks from seemingly nowhere. Still screaming, he set about brandishing his weapon, hopping about behind his counter. As he did this. Charles leapt back, yelling wildly: "Oh my god, iits a midget ninja!!"
They continued in this vein till both were red faced and heaving. Rajiv looked on from one of the booths, having made himself a coffee in the meantime. Seeing the two calm down, he got up and returned to the counter. "I will totally whoop your ass," the midget was saying.
"You couldn't reach my ass without a ladder in the first place, little woman," retorted Charles.
"Your face is a little woman!" the dwarf shrieked.
"Enough already!" Rajiv shouted. He turned angrily to Charles. "Why are you antoganising the only human we've seen since we arrived?"
Charles muttered something about doubting just how human the little huy was, but he did so quietly, face averted.
"And you!" Rajiv turned to the man, cutting off his chuckling at his adversary's chastisement. "You ask not to be called a child, but go about behaving like one. Now, both of you apologise," Rajiv said sternly, crossing his arms to show them he was serious.
They mumbled their apologies, with much feet shuffling and 'this wouldn't have happened if,' 'he started it' comments interspersed.
The little man climbed onto a stool--quite an arduous process by the looks of it. "Bobs the name," he said, thrusting out a hairy arm and shaking their hands. "Been a while since I had some visitors." He eyed the odd pair with obvious interest. "Not many come round these parts," he said, by way of apology.
"Oh, and why's that?" Rajiv asked, curiosity piqued.
"Well, you head too far in any one direction--like this one--and eventually you'll reach the borderlands."
"You mean this place is finite?" Charles said, hungry for information.
"Eh? Nah, that's just to say around those parts things get a little murky. A little dangerous, all sorts of crazy things linger round there."
"So what are y'all after, anyway?"
"We're after God," Rajiv said simply.
Bob's eyebrows rose, climbing up his forehead and nearly vanishing into his short, thick crop of hair. "Oh is that all?" he said, laughing.
"You wouldn't happen to know where we could find the fellow?' Charles remarked hopefully.
Bob seemed to consider this for a moment, scratching his arm pits idly. "Well, you could always try Jesus."
"Jesus?!" the two exclaimed as one.
"No, the freakin' easter bunny: of course, Jesus! Hangs around those borderlands I mentioned earlier."
Rajiv looked smugly at Charles. It seemed as if the scales were in his favour after all. "We'll have to do that then," he said.
An hour or so later, they exited the cafe, calling out their thanks. Once at a safe distance, Charles yelled out, "Say hello to Gimli for me!"
Refreshed and hopeful now that they had a more definite purpose, the continued on their way, Charles happy now that his urge for tea was satisfied.
****
Lowering the funny factor just a bit here, to set up the story a little more. More hilarity in later episodes, lol. Enjoy.
Not that I'm bubbles, but still, I'm here.
