english gothic

haina · 2005-02-24T18:44:57Z

english gothic june came when the sky burst open seeping in like painted blue angel eyes july was lost on me: london by moonlight i came to visit you by train early next morning dawn crept upon me through veils of gold there must have been something most tragic about her look there, a little girl in a white cotton sundress burning tiger lilies in her arms selling fallen pieces of heaven by the train tracks eyes, blue-gray, looking to nothing—everything in the distance: hair, black as the air at night danced in the wind with the passing train august was obscure, covered in rain my eyes were closed; 'ophelia, ophelia' words, half spoken and broken stinging into you opened the door when the bell rang 'hold on tight, darling, won't you just hold on tight' time was foolish, forsaking me in your doorway august was cruel when the sky imploded (the land desolate, darkened, damaged) summer lay marred on your bedroom sheets songs fell from your lips into sunsets; daybreak you smelt like sea foam and tasted of stained glass broken shored against my ruins—sanguine—an afterthought i ended there and began once more, time passed me by they tell me that goodbye is the saddest word (falling in love with melpomene)

Bazoo

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Points 890

Reviews 25

Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:24 pm

Bazoo says... · Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:24 pm

Honestly, I thought the metaphors were a little cliche here and there.

But... I was so entranced in the beautiful descriptions I hardly noticed.

You probably don't need more people petting your ego, but I must say, bravo.

(it bugs me, though. I've read three poems today so far and all three have been awesome, and I can't think of any critiques. XD)

Wow...I want to thank so many people for being here...well of course, God...and um...Nate...let's see...Liz...Brad...Chevy...Satan.

They're all cool.

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haina

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Points 890

Reviews 7

Fri Nov 18, 2005 1:26 am

haina says... · Fri Nov 18, 2005 1:26 am

I'm so sorry about the (very) late reply. This year had been completely crazy for me and I barely had a chance to go online. I'm so sorry!

Sabine wrote:just figured it out, your style reminds me of TS Eloit. every ready any of his work? I'm very fond of the four quartets myself.

Yes, Eliot is my inspiration. I love his writing. "shored against my ruins" is an allusion ot his "The Waste Land." Yes, The Four Quartets is probably my second favorite Eliot poem.

Thank you very very much, everyone, for all your lovely comments and feedback. I really appreciate it.

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Elephant

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Points 890

Reviews 34

Thu Nov 24, 2005 4:45 pm

Elephant says... · Thu Nov 24, 2005 4:45 pm

at this hour, one word captures my thoughts, -genius-.

maybe if you want I'll do a more indepth critique.

-El-

You couldn't parallel park if your life depended on it, so it's unfortunate that, due to the alien invaders' strange emphasis on motorist competence, that's exactly what it comes down to.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

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