Ice Cubes #14

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miyaviloves
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Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:09 pm
miyaviloves says... · Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:09 pm
Taken down due to publishing
Last edited by miyaviloves on Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:15 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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XgodatemyskittlesX
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Wed Apr 11, 2007 5:04 pm
XgodatemyskittlesX says... · Wed Apr 11, 2007 5:04 pm
I like it a lot. :) Meh it was a really short... But, with those few words you can really feel the impact of your friendship with Sappy. I hate stories with no ending so can't wait to read more. Um if you post more.

Until then.
:elephant:
Timendi causa est nescire....
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miyaviloves
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Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:58 pm
miyaviloves says... · Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:58 pm
edit
Last edited by miyaviloves on Mon Apr 16, 2007 5:28 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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stupidiot92
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Sun Apr 15, 2007 9:12 pm
stupidiot92 says... · Sun Apr 15, 2007 9:12 pm
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Sounds crap

sounds like crap

This was a good part. I like how you explain a thing from the past that made Sappy's mom freak out.
It doesn't think, doesn't feel.
It doesn't laugh or cry.
All it does from dusk 'till dawn
is make the soldiers die
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JC
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Mon Apr 16, 2007 2:15 am
JC says... · Mon Apr 16, 2007 2:15 am
“I have to go home,” And with those words...

The A in and should be lowercase.

“Ok…talk to you later then, call you Saturday or something bye!”.

I know old habits die hard...but the period doesn't belong at the end. The exclamation point takes care of that.

Did you notice that there's no part 12??? hm...confused me. Anyways...this chapter just seemed weird to me, like Jaimy fogot all about what happened in chapter 10...like it never happened. It just doens't seem realistic that her wouldn't ever think about it.

Still loving it! Keep it up!!!

-JC
But that is not the question. Why we are here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. -Beckett
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miyaviloves
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Mon Apr 16, 2007 12:36 pm
miyaviloves says... · Mon Apr 16, 2007 12:36 pm
yeah sorry about that :S dont know where numbere 12 has gone :S im sure i posted it but obviously not :(

Meevs
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miyaviloves
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Insomnia
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Wed May 30, 2007 4:27 am
Insomnia says... · Wed May 30, 2007 4:27 am
Hey... for what, the fourth time today lol? Just the one thing I found, and from the stuff I've done on your last chapters, you can probably guess what it is. ;)

“Your going where?”

*you're. That one always slips past me when I'm typing as well lol. I get really annoyed when I do that all the time. Same with 'something.' xD
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