Ice Cubes #13

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Taken down due to publishing
Last edited by miyaviloves on Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Bag.

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:o :shock: :o

Oh my......that was true emotion...There were a few spelling mistakes and the word 'well' was overused at times.

I learnt loads of new stuff about the story in that post......wow.

Alainna
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*Rated R*

If it isn't rated R, it shows up on the front page, and then the entire world gets to see this content the moment they visit the site.

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Wow, that was a twist. I never knew that he had a brother. I really like that twist. As for the Chris thing, i like how it is in there but i really really hate Chris. I hope something really bad happens to him. I mean really really bad. I look forward to reading the rest of Ice cubes.
It doesn't think, doesn't feel.
It doesn't laugh or cry.
All it does from dusk 'till dawn
is make the soldiers die




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Hey, Meevs. :) I finally worked out all the Chapter numbers, so after this i'll be onto 15... I think lol. I only found a few things in here.

“Sure you want coffee?”

Maybe put a comma after sure? I dunno if that's right or not. xD

im sure now shut up

*I'm

And I give up. You really can bring out endless surprises. One every chapter, at least lol. We'll see how many more you've got lol.



/I think, today,/ he thought back, /the important fact is that I don't/ need /to be better than him. He can just be a person. And I... I can just be one too./
— Adolin (Wind and Truth by Brandon Sanderson)