Sons of War

Jiggity · 2007-04-06T13:01:28Z

Prologue: An Ill wind. The little boy giggled. He sat amongst the tall, swaying grass and playfully snatched at the lights. Small, glowing balls of colour that floated about, somehow always managing to elude his enthusiastic grasping. Sometimes, they were more than lights. They were people, tiny and golden, smiling at him; overjoyed that he could see them and what's more, that he should play with them. He had learned, early on, that his was a special gift and that none were to know of it, lest he should come to be outcast. He could hear his brothers calling out, their light tones floating on the breeze, filled with laughter and mischief and over this, the deep brass rumble of his father's voice admonishing them to get on with the work. Such moments as this, Kay thought, were as close to paradise as he would come. A chill wind brought him out of reverie and he shivered. Something was coming. He didn't know how he knew, just that it was so. Concerned, he tried to look at his friends for reassurance only to find that they were no longer there. He was alone. More then a little afraid, Kay began to run toward the house. He could see his father, standing outside the steps to their home, surveying his sons as they tended the farm. He turned to watch with a kindly smile as he saw his youngest rush toward him. Kay skidded to a halt in front of him. "And what urgent need brings you so speedily, my son," he said. The words were meant in jest, but once spoken took on another tone. Kay said nothing, momentarily robbed of speech. It was not merely the running that caused this, but also his father's presence. Tall, massive bronze chest exposed to the sun, with piercing grey eyes, he had a powerful impact on those around him. Suddenly, his headlong rush seemed foolish and needless. What was he to say? That he had a bad feeling? He would appear to be nothing more then a silly child. He stared down at his toes, morose. Luckily, he needn't say anything, as the cause of the ill wind coalesced on the horizon. They both turned at the sound of encroaching thunder. Kay was familiar enough with horses to know what this meant: someone was coming. Considering their relative isolation, this could not be good. His father had obviously reached the same conclusion. "Get your brothers and go inside." "But F--" "Now!" His whole posture had changed in moments. Tense, muscles clenched and numerous scars pulled taught as he watched the oncoming riders. Kay knew better then to disobey. He rushed off to grab his brothers, only to see them coming in already having noticed the riders. Kyle, the eldest, led the other two. "Father says we are to wait inside," Kay said, face pinched with worry. His earlier urgency solidified into a cold lump in his gut. Kyle nodded. Like their father, he was built like an ox, trademark brown hair pulled back into a short ponytail. He reached out and briefly tousled Kay's own flaxen head. "It'll be alright," he said, as he ushered them inside, but his face remained troubled. Immediately there was scuffling for the best position at the window, eventually leaving Kay, the smallest, to watch his brothers' broad backs. Gareth, the second youngest and closest to Kay, gave him a look of sympathy. "Tell me what's happening," Kay whispered fiercely. He didn't know why he felt the need to whisper, only that he was afraid. "Two riders approach. They carry a standard"--Gareth sucked in a breath, hissing in excitement--"they are Imperial couriers!" he exclaimed in surprised recognition. Immediately, worry shaded his voice. "But why are they here and what do they want with father?" he asked, worried. No one answered. "They're talking now... and look! That weedy bastard is actually looking down his nose at our father!" He could hear it now; the cold autocratic voice. "His Majesty, the Imperial Emperor, requests your aid, William Caravin, in the forthcoming war..." Then the deep rumble of his father's voice answered. Questions were asked and information exchanged but all Kay could focus on were those words. They were taking father away. There was a kind of stunned shock in the room, all of them trying to come to terms with this strange turn of events. Requests your aid... He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, that he almost missed the sound of retreating hoof beats and the heavy tread of his father's boots upon the floorboards. Kay's heart leapt. Father hadn't left! The door creaked open. There he stood, looking infinitely older. They all watched him. He looked so alone there, cast into shadow by the light, that Kay wanted nothing more then to rush forward and hug him, beg him never to leave. He knew, however, such a display would be frowned upon. The tension heightened. "Are you going?" Kyle's voice sounded harsh in the silence. Kay stared at Kyle as if he were a child. Of course Father wasn't going, wasn't it obvious? "You think I have a choice?" He stepped inside, and closed the door. Sighing, he leant against it. Shock, as profound as anything Kay had known, hit him. Father was leaving. He was actually going to go. The silence stretched as they all struggled to understand. "You know you do!" Kyle's voice cracked. He took a step forward. "He requested, father, he did not demand." In his eyes, there was a plea that he could never voice. But his father only shook his head. "What would you have me do? Abandon my land? Pah! I bled once for it and I will do so again." Kyle's face twisted as if there were a bad taste in his mouth. "So you're just going to leave us, then, just like...," he trailed off, suddenly looking lost and afraid. The words lingered in the air, unsaid and all the heavier for it. Just like Mother. To which his father had nothing to say. He looked away. Kay tasted salt. He reached up to brush away the tears he hadn't noticed shedding. "Papa...," he croaked, voice thick with emotion. "Papa, don't go." William stared at his son, aghast. His strong gaze suddenly conflicted. He came forward, kneeling before his youngest. The light cast into sharp relief his many battle wounds and with horror, Kay realized just how old his father was. "My boy, I will never be gone from your side," he said. "You need but call and I will come." "Let me come with you!" Kay burst out suddenly. "Please." William only shook his head. "No, my son. War is not for you, yours is another path and only you may tread it. He sighed and looked away. "They return at dawn," he said, standing up. "We have much to do."

Jiggity

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Mon Apr 09, 2007 11:50 pm

Jiggity says... · Mon Apr 09, 2007 11:50 pm

Revised!!

Mah name is jiggleh. And I like to jiggle.

"Indecision and terror, thy name is novel." - Chiko

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ELven-Maiden

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Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:26 am

ELven-Maiden says... · Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:26 am

Wow. This is really cool.

I like the characters here; especially in the prolougue, when Kay's an innocent little boy, and in the next chapter he's a hardened man.

They move a little too quickly for me, though, and I can't see the setting well enough. Perhpas if you can show some soldier life in camp--soldiers playing a game of chance wich some dice, or getting into a fight...i don't know whether it's one of those scary army camps where the slightest offense will cost you a couple of limbs, or if it's a clean camp where eveyone's too nervous to fight among themselves. Maybe show whether the soldiers are excited to fight or they look like their about ready to desert.

keep it up, though. I really like the way this is turning out!

Give me time, i'll crit your work XD I promise.
GO HORACE!
I have some IA on Venus, but I don't know how long it'll last. my com's getting crushed.
"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."~Carl Jung, psychologist and psychiatrist.

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Jiggity

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Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:36 am

Jiggity says... · Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:36 am

I'll introduce a more detailed description of the place in the next chapter and just for the record, I never said it was an army camp lol. More to come soon, thanks all for commenting.

Mah name is jiggleh. And I like to jiggle.

"Indecision and terror, thy name is novel." - Chiko

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Dark Lordess

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Sun Apr 15, 2007 3:53 am

Dark Lordess says... · Sun Apr 15, 2007 3:53 am

Your flashback is wonderful. It really clears up a lot and I can understand Kay's motives for things now.

The dialogue is great. You make me so angry at Gavril... lol.

I like this revised ending. It makes me really suspicious Gavril's up to something. (As you can tell I don't like him much... hehe) It seems to fit Kay better too. I agreed with WD. It didn't seem like he'd risk death for Madlea.

Keep writing!

If you have to ask me why I write, you would never understand...

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