Memory

These are the times of our lives, they say,
The best days that we’ll ever see.
& no matter how many years pass us by,
We’ll still have our beloved memory.

The moments we felt on top of the world,
The times when we had it all,
& through many laughs, over old photographs,
It’s these times we’ll so happily recall.

Rhyming is, let's say, something I very strongly dislike. So, as you can guess, I'm not going to be very nice. But bear with me, Lindsey, OK?

Short, sweet, got the point across. But it sounds kind of like a greeting card, don't you think? You're 16 years old. You're not supposed to sound like some 57-year-old lady sending a sweet Valentine's Day card to her husband.

Unless, of course, you're really some 57-year-old lady who just pretends to be 16.

When you're feeling very creative or happy sometimes, I think you should rewrite this poem, if you want to. This poem is very generic, there is no Lindsey in there at all. So try fixing it, work with it, play with it, have fun.

Unless you work for Hallmark. Then, in that case, it's good.

Lol - It's totally okay. Anyways, I get what your saying.. Completely. It was really supposed to be talking about highschool, since I am sixteen, but I didn't say that. Thanks though!

it's straightfoward and a bit too sweet. i can't say what to improve because it's just i'm not really digging it and i have a hard time making suggestions for what i don't like. but i must say the "& instead of and" is something i dont' like.