Edit: The Poem

The cold words on the page
Depicting worlds, full in song or sorrow
The dead or the boy who shoots the arrow
Banners of war, unfurled in unholy rage.

The red slashings of the friend
The blood of the words ooze across paper
Blood and wounds of letters, bound by poet later
Until the ballad finds its end.

The sound of pen, healing the wound
Mending their broken red gashes
The crooked scrapes and raw scratches
The words honeyed by new courage found.

And though the warrior of the pen
Slips into the cold grasp of death
A speechless hand, an essence at rest
And the healed words say again:

"Even though we turn pale at age
Tested and withered be our page
Our voices, small and bold, breeze and thunder
We shall continue to speak of ageless wonder."

___________
Hehe. Wrote this last night. I'm a bit rusty right now, haven't written poetry for a good month or so. I also haven't had a chance to polish it.
As you should have guessed by now (shame on you if you have to ask what this is about! ) this is about editing poetry. Crazy. XD My specialty. XD

~Sumi

It's pretty good.
Interesting rhyme scheme, with the B rhyme splitting up A. Pretty nifty.

Correct me if I'm wrong, because I've been working on AP English Lit for a month, and this kind of stuff is going to my head, but this poem is likening an author's or poets writing to battle, and blood likened to ink, etc.

In the third stanza, interesting poetic liscense with "wound" and "found".

Not bad, for a quick, middle-of-the-night poem. I like it a lot.

Nice! I like the idea that the poem is "wounded" and the pen is "healing" it.

A few nitpicks:

Kudos on the consistent rhyme scheme, but some of the words don't actually rhyme, though they're close: sorrow/arrow, paper/later, gashes/scratches, etc. But s'pose I'll allow you some poetic license...

"Depicintg worlds, full in song or sorrow"

Depicting


"A speechless hand, a essence at rest "

AN essence

"Even though we turn pale at age
Tested and withered be our page
Our voices, small and bold, breeze and thunder
We shall continue to speak of ageless wonder."

I LOVE this stanza! Awesome. But the first line sounds a bit awkward; I'd re-write it as "Even though we pale with age." In the second line, I think "is our page" would sound better than "be our page," though I'm not sure why. I'd re-write the last line as "forever we'll speak of ageless wonder." Oh, and you need commas. So it would read like this:

Even though we pale with age,
Tested and withered is our page,
Our voices, small and bold, breeze and thunder,
Forever we'll speak of ageless wonder.

I think that flows a bit better.

Very nice work overall!

Ooo this is very nice! I like the overall idea and the lines didn't seem forced at all. Everything was in its place. This was great. I think this will relate to many poets editing their poetry.

Great descriptive words. My favorite part:

"Even though we turn pale at age
Tested and withered be our page
Our voices, small and bold, breeze and thunder
We shall continue to speak of ageless wonder."

*This would be the healed version of the poem, correct? If it is I love it, wonderful idea. Great job on this.

Keep it up!
~Rieda

:facepalm: Thanks for pointing out those typos...I was copying them off a scribbled paper, so I guess it did turn out a little garbled...But at least ya guys could read it! ^_^
Thanks for the reviews! I appreciate them! :another facepalm at the typos:

I was being a little....strong-headed when I used that rhyming scheme :sweatdrop: but I think that the rhythm fits the poem and it wouldn't work without it.

In the third stanza (Mending their broken red gashes/The crooked scrapes and raw scratches) I could have very well used "slashes" instead of scratches, but I chose not too. With "wound" and "found" I could have used something instead of found-can't recall exactly what now- but I was being sleepily rebellious

Wow. the last stanza has leading popularity. Huh. :considers that gravely: My personal favorite is #4

Okay. You've read enough of my poetic ramblings. Sorry about that
Zanyways, thanks for the reviews!
~sumi

Cool.

The pen is most definitely mightier than the sword!

~D'Inkweaver

COOL! I loved this poem. Good job. Keep up the good work. Thumbs up.

-- M.B.Author

Your descriptions of the blood and wounds made me shiver! Your word pictures were uncanny! Brrrr!

The switching-off of the rhyme scheme at the end is interesting. It packs a punch, makes you pay attention. Really good! I enjoyed it.

Goldie

your rhythm scheme of a-b-b-a(until the last stanza), i thought was creative...and your figurative language really makes the poem come to life. i liked it! keep up the good work