So, yeah. Here I am. I don’t usually write short stories. They always turn into something long that I can’t finish or something I lose interest in. But I’ve finally finished one. I know it needs work on. I was hoping people could give me some hints about what I should change. Here it goes. Thanks.
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She felt that he was near. Maybe not in her town but he was definitely coming for her. He had, after all, tried three other times already.
About four years ago she went to the police to report the murder of her brother. Thomas, the man she feared was after her, found a way to make sure that the murder she had seen him commit disappeared and that no body or evidence had been left behind. When she reported it to the police they called her “crazy” and “attention seeking”. They sent her home, promising that no harm would come to her. Yet, harm tried to get to her. Thomas’s first attempt came that night.
That night she was sitting alone in her apartment, trying to cope with what she had seen and her loss, when the door bell rang.
She opened the door and Thomas rushed in, slamming her into the nearest wall.
With his hands around her throat he said, “You’re going to die tonight Melinda. Does that sound good to you? It sounds perfect to me because, well, there would be no witnesses to the murder of your brother. Not to mention my other crimes, and, well, that just fills me up with so much joy.”
Melinda felt her lungs screaming for air and how strong Thomas was. Everything was beginning to spin and she sensed unconsciousness creeping its way to her.
She decided to fight back. With as much force as possible she kicked him between his legs. He fell backwards immediately, curling into a ball, and coughing hysterically. Melinda, purse and keys in hand, was already out the door.
The second encounter took place in public, at a party of one of her friends. She was there talking to the hostess when she spotted him across the living room. All he was doing was glaring and she knew perfectly well that he would not attack her in public. She said “Good-bye” to her friends and left the part. She didn’t even wait until the door to her car shut when she sped off. Thomas didn’t even have a sliver of a chance to follow her.
The third and final encounter was on the thruway. It was a chance meeting and Thomas pulled his car right up next to hers and tried to run her off the road. She was able to escape his attempt on her life that time by slamming on her breaks, forcing him to fly into the very ditch he was trying to put her in. And once again she sped off.
Now, four years after the start of the whole mess, she had a feeling that he was close. That he was looking for her. She had a surprise for him though. She had decided, not long after the third encounter, that she was going to fight back if there ever was a fourth encounter. Till death if it came to that.
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His car smelled like feet, puke, and garbage. Every time he breathed in his nose wrinkled with disgust. However, that didn’t bother him tonight. Nothing could. He finally found Melinda and couldn’t believe how simple it was. He had only decided to start tracking her again a week ago yet she was still in plain sight. She hadn’t even left the country. He laughed and thought the stupidity of the girl.
Thomas pulled over to a diner that was on the entrance road of the small town. He got out of his car and went into the building.
Instantly he saw that he didn’t fit in too well. He was wearing all dark blue and heavy boots that thumped loudly with each step he took. Everyone stopped talking and turned to watch him. Mostly they were all old couples having coffee and no one looked threatening to him.
Thomas waked up to the register and looked at the elderly woman standing behind it. She gave him a faint smile then asked, “Can I help you?”
Thomas stared at her with ice in his eyes. “Yeah,” he said, “do you have a phonebook?”
She met his eyes then pointed to the payphone hanging on the wall in the corner. He walked over to it and grabbed the phonebook that was hanging by a chain. He opened it up and began looking under the names. Finally he found it: Melinda Mackenzie. He ripped the page out and turned to leave. Before he was halfway out the door he called back into the diner, “Thank you. Have a fine dinner.” He then got into his can. Pulling out of the diner’s parking lot he programmed Melinda’s address into his GPS. He already knew her address but wanted to double check to make sure his informant gave him solid information. Thankfully it was same. He took off down the road and towards Melinda’s house.
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Deciding to fight him didn’t mean that she had to go out and find him. No, her plan was to sit still and wait for him to come to her. As she was sitting back the phone rang and she jumped, letting out a small yelp. When she realized that it was just the phone she calmed herself down and answered it. “Hello, Melinda Mackenzie speaking,” she said.
“Mellie? Oh, good. I didn’t know if you’d be home or not. By the way, it’s Rosie, from the diner.”
“Oh, hiya Rosie. Listen I can’t talk---”
“Remember when you told me to call you if I saw anything strange?” Rosie interrupted Melinda. “Yeah, well, a man about six feet tall and all dressed in dark blue just left here. So, I’m just letting you know. Is he some one that you know? If not he’s kinda cute, in uniform and all.”
Melinda’s heart dropped. He’s here. Crap. I thought maybe I was wrong, she thought. “Yes, actually, that’s why I can’t talk. You see, he’s my date for tonight and I’m not ready yet. So, thank you for telling me but I really have to go.”
“Oh, dear, I’m sorry. Okay, I’ll let you go. Just remember, be safe.”
“Rosie!” Melinda shouted, “Nothing like that will happen.”
“Just a friendly warning,” she laughed, “Talk to you later.” Click, the phone went silent.
Melinda shook her head then sat back in her chair. She reached underneath it and pulled out the photo album she hid there. She had such a wonderful life before all of this began. Now, she hardly had a life.
She began to flip through the pictures. Memories broke into her mind and a tear fell from her eye. She didn’t know why she was doing this to herself. It hurt too much to know let alone remember. That’s not true, she thought, if I don’t remember then no one will.
The pain was almost unbearable though. Knowing that the guy she planned on having a life with, the guy that had protected her so many times before, the guy that she had loved so much was after her and trying to kill her. It was too much.
She passed pictures of Thomas and herself on the beach, in the mall, walking through elegant gardens, and at family functions. Slowly this all fueled her anger and hatred. Then she hit the pictures of her brother, Steve. Rage flamed within her and then the dam broke the dam that held at bay the most terrible memory she had.
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Steve needed money for college badly. So Melinda told him to talk to Thomas. Thomas was in charge of a lot of crack dealing on the streets of New York City. Granted it was an odd job given the fact that Thomas worked for the state and all. So, Steven went to Thomas to make some quick cash and Thomas said he could work.
Everything was going good for a while. Then Steve started to use the drug too. Thomas didn’t have a problem with it, just as long as Steve paid him for them. Then things turned hairy. It became too tempting for Steve. He started to steal some of the drugs. Thomas still didn’t mind, just took a little bit of money out of Steve’s paycheck. Then Thomas made a mistake.
Thomas gave a huge order to Steve to deliver to a few other dealers around the city. Steve said he’d do it but didn’t. Instead he took the order home and used it all. When Thomas came to collect the money, Steve had none to give. Thomas then demanded the drugs back but Steve told him that they were all gone. Thomas flew into a violent rage, beating on Steve. Then he snapped. Thomas pulled out his work gun and shot Steve point blank in the head. There was no way that he could have survived.
Melinda had been going to visit Steve that day and was halfway up the stairs when she heard shouts from her brother’s apartment. She ran up the rest of the stairs and had just opened the door when she saw Thomas pull the gun out and slay her brother. At first she was shocked. Then Thomas glanced at the door and saw her. She bolted from the door and ran all the way to the nearest police station. Thomas didn’t bother running after her.
She told the police everything but by the time they investigated there was neither body nor evidence. They dismissed her, calling her crazy and said that she needed rest. After she got home that night Thomas came after her, she escaped, and had been on the run since.
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She stopped looking at the photos and wiped the tears from her eyes and off her face. Then her face turned cold and a look of determination set in. She fell back in her chair and reclined. The she reached over and shut the lamp off. The room went dark instantly and all she could hear was her breathing. All she could see was the outline of the objects in the room. She sat still and waited for him to walk in.
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"Perfect," Thomas whispered. He drove by her house for the third time, making sure all lights were out. Once he was sure that she had gone to bed he pulled up in front of her house. He got out of the car and took out his two pistols. He clipped one in his holster and had the other one in his gloved hand. He turned off the safety then walked up to the front door. He opened the front door and walked in.
The house was completely dark and he couldn’t see a thing. He pulled a flashlight from his belt and turned it on. He scanned the hallways then shined the light upstairs. He smiled then began to creep upstairs.
He was halfway up the stairs when he heard Melinda behind him.
“Ahem,” She whispered, “don’t you cops know how to knock?” She asked. She turned around and flipped the light switch on. Slowly Thomas too turned. His NY-PD badge shone in like the sun.
“Melinda, baby, how are you?” He asked. She snarled at him and threw a fist. He caught it and twisted her arm around. “What’s wrong? You didn’t miss me?” He breathed down her neck. “You knew I was corrupt but you didn’t have a problem with it. I was on both sides of the law and not getting in any trouble. I ran a drug ring on one side and I ran the police force on the other, putting my competitors in jail. You didn’t care. I had all the money in the world and you just kept on spending. Then your brother came along. He ruined everything. But he was an accident. If you would have just talked to me that night then I would have told you what happened. He wasn’t supposed to die. Up till then I only killed criminals that weren’t working for me. And then, once you see your dead brother, you go and tell my police station about the murder? I’m the Chief Police Detective for god’s sake. They helped me clean up my mess!” He rushed her downstairs and into the living room. He threw her at her chair and yelled, “Sit down!”
She was crying now, knowing that she was done. She knew she shouldn’t have said anything on the stairs and that she should have hit him but the temptation was too strong.
Thomas put the gun, in his gloved hand, under her chin. “You know what really sucks?” he whispered in her ear. “That I didn’t end up marrying you. I really did love you.” She looked up at him puzzled. He backed up a little bit then pulled the trigger. Her last thought was Steve.
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Thomas put the gun in Melinda’s hand and took his glove off. He picked up the phone and dialed 911.
“911 emergency,” A woman said.
“I think my fiancé killed herself,” he sobbed, “Please. Send help. I’m at 2020 New Lane.”
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The Chief investigator took Thomas aside and asked, "She accused you of killing her brother. Why are you even here?"
"She said she wanted to work things out. When I arrived the door was open. I walked in and saw her in her chair. The blood....oh god, the blood. I shouldn't have come. I think it put too much stress on her."
"You're a cop," the Chief said, "You wanted to straighten things out. Just didn't work out and I'm sorry. Just going to suck to have to inform her brother."
"You've found him?" Thomas asked, acting concerned.
"No, he's still missing. I bet he ran away out of misery. I just meant if we find him." There were a few moments of silence then the Chief asked, "You going in to work tomorrow?"
"No. I need time. This...this was too hard for me. I think I might go visit my parents or something."
"That's nice. You can go now if you want. If I have any questions I'll call your cell."
"Thanks sir." Thomas said then began to leave. The Chief called him back though.
"Thomas! Here." The Chief handed Thomas a card with a therapist’s number on it. "Just in case," the Chief said.
"Thanks Chief. I'll need this." Thomas said then walked to his car. As he pulled out he couldn't keep the grin off his face and he broke into fits of laughter.
It would make it more interesting, though, so the length would matter less.
