It took three hours to trek over the graveyard, to read the inscriptions and keep moving, another two to drive back to town.Something in this sentence sounds so wrong. It took three hours to trek over the graveyard, read the inscriptions and keep moving, another two to drive back to town. Removing the two helps but... it still sounds so odd. I think the "and keep moving" is throwing me off.
"Places to go, people to fuck..."See? That is the "can't settle down" Kyle, even if he meant it in joke.
to make Waco look like a children's birthday partyI love the comparison.
his eyes fluttered open in the harsh sunlight [add here: that] the thin motel curtains did nothing to dampen.
the one that's charmed clothes off women from California to Maineanother point in why kyle can't get hitched! but anywho, unles "that's" is "that has" I don't that that is right.... and it certainly isn't "that it".
ajoke."space
so sickly sweet Jon thinks he can actually feel his teeth rotting.you keep putting some verbs in the present. Not only does it freak me out, it makes my grammar brain hurt.... ach, verbs!
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